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my husband, who is 9 years older than
me, so 68 at the time, developed an interest
in one of my close girlfriends, who often
visited our house. She is the classic cliché
of an attractive woman: blond, long legs, 10
years younger than me and someone who
says what the other person wants to hear.
And that was exactly what seemed to fall on
fertile ground with my husband. He started
visiting her every day, went to concerts with Being let down by those closest to you can trigger feelings
of worthlessness
her and traveled to Paris with her for 5 days
attending 2 opera performances. Every time long time. Grief does not have an expiry date.
he came back satisfied and happy, while I sat In my case there was betrayal, anger and
crying and desperate at home. disbelief.
I knew in my head that I would master this
Falling off a cliff situation as I had before. But the feeling, the
What is the best way to deal with a situation emotions and the heart said otherwise.
that you are thrown in so abruptly and Again and again the question: Why? What
without expecting it? did I do wrong? What does she have that I
First, it is like falling from a cliff, in free fall, don’t have? What can I do?
not knowing when and how to get down. Is And there was just no answer to any of
there a bottom at all? these question that I could understand and
What made the situation so bizarre is that comprehend. Especially since I had always
this already happened to me 19 years ago. done everything to ensure that my husband
My partner at the time had also left me for a was fine, that he was comfortable, and
girlfriend of mine. And now again. A déjà vu. everything was going well on the business
This incentivised me to go deep and think side. I fully and entirely supported him in
about what leads men and women to enter every way I could.
into relationships with partners, who behave
in this way. What is the trigger, where a ‘What did I do wrong?’
man suddenly decides that his wife is no Let’s get back to the questions. What makes
longer good enough for him and it’s time to a 68-year-old man suddenly leave his
move on, change to a new one? Is it boredom wife? When asked he said he felt lonely
or longing for new excitement? All those even though we worked, lived and did a
years spent together were a waste? All the lot together. I didn’t understand that at the
hard work that you put into each other can beginning. Only later did I realize that the
suddenly evaporate? loneliness was in him and that it can only be
Love and marriage are both hard work. filled from outside for a short time. But not
I knew that I had to take control of the in the long run.
situation. Death is very different to betrayal, You can only fill this feeling in yourself.
when one partner is dead there is a feeling The new woman took away the feeling of
of helplessness and eventually the other loneliness from the outside by being very
partner comes to term, one can dweeb for a aggressive and always telling him that he
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