Page 3 - Seniors Toady - September Issue 2020

Publisher’s Note
Happy Spouse,
Happy House
The concept of marriage has undergone a huge
transformation from the 50s, 70s, 90s to 2020.
Today couples have unreasonable expectations
from each other, each one is looking for a
perfect relationship. They set high standards
for each other and demand the best, it’s an
unrealistic situation. My parents were a great
example of a happy spouse, happy house. They
got married in January 1947 and in March/
April there were fierce riots everywhere,
people were fleeing their homes trying to cross
over to the other side. Partition was India’s
worst tragedy.
My parents were a victim of this tragedy.
Barely four months into their marriage they
had to flee their home (incidentally both were
from well to do families). From Rawalpindi
they arrived in Nagpur, where dad, mum
and dad’s elder brother, wife and family had
settled down. Dad set up a business of renting
cycle rickshaws. Once the business had settled
dad’s elder brother’s wife threw them out of
the house and one morning mum and dad
moved into a little hut. The owner of the hut
allowed mum to use the toilet in his compound
and dad had to go out into the open. My dad
pleaded with my mum to go and spend some
time with her parents rather than live in this
hut. He pleaded, sulked, got angry but she
said no “I am going to stay with you here”. My
mum recalls that they were so poor that they
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #15 | SEPTEMBER 2020
would eat at 7’o clock and put off the kerosene
lamp at 7:30, just to save on kerosene.
The problems of life were so heavily stacked
against this young couple and through it all
my mother never complained about anything.
It was a time both of them never forgot. Dad
moved to Bombay and set up his own business
and we became a part of India’s large middle
class. What is surprising is that they never got
angry with each other because the fight was
against life and not with each other.
One day I came back from college and over
some argument quoted this line to my mother:
Dhol Ganwar Shudra Pashu Nari yeh sab
hainTaadana Ke Adhikari - Tulsi Das.
In one second, my mother replied, “Marad ke
jaati badi ujanda inko leke maro danda.”
Ouch ouch ouch, it was as if she was waiting
to throw it back at me. My dad took the line
to his heart and every time something would
go wrong he would say “bolo, bolo wo Tulsi
Das ki line” and before I could even utter a
word mum threw the line back at me and we
all laughed. This in effect would sum up their
fights.
Vickram Sethi
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
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