Page 41 - Seniors Today October 2020

Communities community, there are differences that come

up every 50 kilometres. It wouldn’t be unfair
to say that Punjabis are great exaggerators,
they can inflate their wealth, income 10
times without batting an eyelid. Writing
about Punjabis living in Delhi and the rest
of the world could be the subject of a small
Oye novel.
While a lot of other communities have also
spread their wings internationally, nobody
Punjabi! has done it has good as the Punjabis. The Only Punjabis have a measure for alcohol that is called
Partition displaced 14 million people and
a Double Patiala, though it is served in a normal glass
the enterprising Punjabis found their ways
(usually)
to different parts of the world – Ammrika, masala in their food section. Chilli Chicken,
Afrika and Kanada and of course places in Gobi Manchurian and Chilli Paneer are
Europe. The enterprising Punjabis set up Punjabi. There is a whole cuisine for Sino-
restaurants all over the world. Incidentally Ludhiyanvi Cuisine, China has nothing to do
there is no such thing as Balti Chicken in with it.

From Bhangra to Biradari, the hearty Punjabis live up to most of their Punjab. We now have a separate state in A Punjabi party meal would consist of dal,
attributes. By Mayank Anand Kanada and a district in Einglaand (South paneer, dahibhallas, one seasonal vegetable,
Hall). Except that people living there do not a Chinese side dish, 2-3 non-vegetarian
If there was research done there would be Patiala. No prizes for guessing how much exaggerate their income and wealth. dishes, fish Amritsari and hot rotis off
enough evidence that the English-speaking that is. 240 ml. You put a couple of cubes of The one thing that binds all Punjabis the tandoor. That ensures the success of
population of Punjab increases significantly ice in that and there is not much space for together is Rajma Chawal, Kali Dal, Gobi the meal. There is also a Continental dish
after 9pm. The ‘bhai haitumera’ turns to ‘Joo anything else. That, of course, if you were Shalgum ka Achaar, and of course Butter just so that you understand that I am an
are my Brudder’ and the threat of ‘Jaantani drinking in a normal glass. Chicken. The Butter Chicken is a 50-year-old international traveller. The dessert would be
main kaunhoon’ and ‘baar mil tumerko,’ Punjab is like Texas. Everything is big here. invention conceived by the owners of Moti gajar ka halwa, fruit trifle, gulab jamun with
turns to ‘You don’t know who I am’ and ‘meet The houses, the people, their appetites (with Mahal, a restaurant in Daryaganj, Delhi, and ice-cream, rabddi, and jalebis.
me in the outside’. This, of course, is directly stomachs to match) and their egos. It is my later on perfected by restaurants all over Weddings and matchmaking are the
proportional to the amount of alcohol gut feel that the concept of kitty party was India. Chicken Tikka Masala is now a part of favourite pastime of aunties at a gathering.
consumed. And Punjabis do not consume invented by the Punjabis. The women kitty British cuisine, Marks & Spencer’s sells their Hooking up eligible bachelorettes and
their alcohol like the rest of civil society. We party is generally held at a restaurant and bachelors is what their life is all about. They
pride ourselves in drinking anyone under everybody chips in and it’s a noisy affair. prod and probe at every instance they get
the table and we do this by employing a little They are completely oblivious of the other and want to know why Pinky’s daughter is
trick to confuse our already muddled minds. diners in the restaurant. Men and women, still single. Or why, if she did get married,
Let me introduce you to The Patiala Peg: we are louder than the rest. If there were a she hasn’t had a child yet. Or if she has had
There is a 15 ml. And there is the 30 ml. And loud, louder, loudest competition Punjabis a child, why she has not had a son yet. Or if
there is the 60 ml, which, in effect is a double would win it. she has had a son, then whose son is it? They
shot. And then there is the 120 ml. Which There are kinds and kinds of Punjabis, never stop. Pinky’s daughter’s entire life
for every self-respecting Punjabi, is a Patiala. the Punjabis living in Delhi are completely is under scrutiny till the time her son gets
And one would think that it would stop at different to the Mumbai types whereas those married. Then it is time for her daughter in-
that. But No. You are in Punjab, remember. living in Punjab are very much different You’ll probably find chilli chicken in a buffet selection – law to be under scrutiny.
We also have something called the double from the other two. Like every other it’sa Punjabi dish, after all! The difference between Punjabis living in

40 SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #16 | OCTOBER 2020 41