Page 14 - Seniors Today - August 21 Issue

The reality of adapting to this feeling Delhi taught me to live and accept
of fear was new in 2015. I remember one
day very clearly. This must be my first
week in Delhi. I went to buy a few things
from a local kirana shop – tea bags, some
milk, butter. On my way back, a bunch of
boys started yelling at me. “Cat-calling.”
I remember hurriedly walking back. It
wasn’t like I was on an empty road. It
was a jam-packed market. And yet, I was
scared. I sat in an auto and realised I was
crying. I felt a bunch of emotions – unsafe,
embarrassed at “overreacting”, scared.
I don’t even remember when the same
market streets, voices, cat-calls all merely
started feeling like background noise.
I convinced myself of my indifference
towards it and just learnt how to put on a
brave face. Well intentioned people told
me, “They sense fear. Look strong and they
won’t do anything.” The onus was on me, to
look strong. And I did. But I knew then and
I know now that it’s mostly just pretence. I
still feel unsafe and watched.
14
the realities of my country beyond the
limited reach of a protected and sheltered
existence of the limited Bharat I knew
and idolised. Over the years, I’ve learnt
to not let cynicism overshadow my belief
in the power of change, however gradual
that change may seem. Mera Bharat isn’t
mahaan. It would be delusional to think
it is. Mera Bharat is in-the-making. I’m
hoping that by the time I’m a mother of
a teenage daughter who moves away
from home to grow and explore endless
possibilities, she won’t have to experience
fear if she wants to go on a walk post sunset
on a lovely winter evening.