Page 23 - Seniors Toady March 2020
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Once she had unfettered access, the The zombie had awakened, misbehaved and
zombiefication was quickly completed and shamed his master, all at one go, and a new
truth be told, the first decade of our marriage strategy was needed to handle him.
passed off without my realising it. I have The fourth decade was a period of self-
no idea how we ended up with three brats assertion where I actually had the gumption
(of course I do, but you know what I mean). to demand to have an opinion of my own
If there is indeed a seven-year itch, it went and a compromise formula was arrived
unscratched. Probably why I made it to the at allowing me to take even some major
second decade. decisions, like who would be the next PM.
The second decade is when I began having
brief periods of lucidity and started making Winning strategy
some sounds of protest at being led by One can well imagine the fate of my
the nose, only to be told to stop being a declaration that for the sake of peace in
bad influence on the kids. Now, that’s an the home, I would henceforth follow the
argument only a sweet, mild-mannered, Faredun Junglewalla doctrine:
understanding girl would make, never mind 1.If the wife’s decision was absolutely
that it’s also very manipulative. disastrous, it would be shot down
That shut me up for the rest of the decade immediately and there would be no further
and the spell ensured I was quite ok with it. discussion on the subject.
2.If the wife’s decision was mildly disastrous,
Letting it out I would record my objections and let it slide.
The third decade is when I finally snapped 3.If the decision was merely silly, frivolous
out of the spell at our 25th. anniversary or hare-brained; no interference was
when, under the influence of Shri Johnnie warranted.
Walker, I solemnly and loudly let all my The fact that all I received as blowback was
relatives know exactly what I thought of a smirk, should have reminded me that the
them. only marital battles I had ever won were the
ones she had allowed me to win. But men are
resistant to learning such lessons.
It was only when all and sundry
congratulated me on my impeccable taste
and choice of new showcase, that I realised I
had not just been outflanked but taken in the
rear. It just wasn’t possible now to toss out
that ugly brute, not after such fulsome praise
of my taste. I might as well have still been her
zombie.
In our fifth decade, I have adopted the only
The fact that most of said relatives were even strategy I could. Total surrender. She allows
more under Walker sahab’s benign influence me some little leeway in decision-making
and cheered every benediction bestowed and I agree loudly with every one of hers.
upon them and gave me a standing ovation In fact the only one who argues with Farida
when I finally fell off the table, was not taken Aunty is Google Maps Aunty, and that’s only
into account, and it was the doghouse for me because she’s still young and doesn’t know
for the rest of the decade. whom she’s tangling with.
23 SENIORS TODAY | Issue #9 | March 15, 2020
