Page 27 - Seniors Toady March 2020

make bad decisions regarding money it can be
categorised into two parts: cash cows or hoarders.
Hoarders operate on the principle of tough love.
They deprive their children of little joys through
their lives in order to save money for their future.
Forgoing vacations, not providing financial
support during marriage, refusing to loan them
money to purchase their own home just to create
a nest egg after retirement is a classic symptom
of a hoarder’s mentality. A child of such parents
can become hostile towards their parent and may
no longer require the money when the parent
leaves it to them in their will. They argue that
when they needed it the most, the parent refused
to part with their money leaving them to fend for
themselves.
On the other hand, the cash cow parent falls
prey to guilt and emotions and agrees to hand
over large sums of money whenever a child
demands it. Such parents are very malleable and
children often resort to emotional blackmailing.
They demand money for frivolous reasons like
a luxury holiday or the latest gadget- things that
do not require parents to dip into their savings.
Experts suggest that parents should avoid
giving away money unless they can afford it. It is
estimated that about 90 percent of liquid assets
are spent during the last 10 percent to 20 percent
of a person’s life owing to medical expenses.
Parents must avoid giving away more than 10
percent of their liquid assets.
Fair and Square
Indian families are typically large in size and it
is common for parents to have 3 or 4 children.
Each child tends to expect equal support from
their parents and can create unruly conflicts
if parents extend financial support to only one
child. Parents should approach family wealth
with a fair lens and keep all children in loop
when they offer their financial support to a
particular child. If money is given to one child,
the other children should be informed and
promised similar monetary gifts either now or at
the time of inheritance. If a parent gives a loan to
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A sensible financial arrangement can benefit all of you, while
avoiding friction
one child, this loan amount can be deducted from
the inheritance if it is not repaid before the parent
dies. This can eliminate any possible resentment
amongst siblings and prevent family disputes
once the parent passes away.
Indian parenting is very different from western
parenting where a child is pretty much on his
own once he turns 18. Indian parents tend to
remain attached to their children throughout
their lives and are involved in most of their
adult decisions as well. Ultimately a child will
always inspire emotions within the minds of a
parent and the final decision to lend money to
a child lies with the parent. For parents, if you
can afford – give money to your children with
the understanding that the money is not going
to come back. If you cannot afford – it’s better to
say no and not feel bad because you have given
everything you could. In today’s day and age
parents must have money for themselves and to
meet all their needs.
We have published two true-life stories of parents
being in a situation where they had given all their
money to their children: The taste of green peas
and the story of Pitaji. Which brings us to the very
question: What would you do if your children ask
for money? Write to editor@seniorstoday.in
SENIORS TODAY | Issue #9 | March 15, 2020