Page 25 - Seniors Toady March 2020
P. 25
it can certainly be a slippery slope. This is where
most controversies arise and if not handled
delicately it could tear a family apart. If money
is needed for an urgent matter — like emergency
surgery, medical bills, a lost job, house mortgage
– It’s a no-brainer: Experts say parents should
help in such situations as long as they can afford
it. Lending money in such a situation means
you’re rescuing them temporarily; you’re not
indulging them forever and putting them on your
payroll.
If you are sending your children money, ensure that it is not being However, it’s also important to ensure that you
misused
argue that what’s life without your family? are not being taken advantage of by your own
But pressures of the modern world lead a lot of children. There have been instances of children
parents and children to think that it’s better to collecting money from their parents under the
live separately as each values their own privacy guise of low income when they are actually quite
and living together might take a toll on the well off by themselves.
financial situation of the parents. Sanjay Arora, a wills and estates lawyer in
In this case, parents should first decide whether Delhi, recounts a tale of an elderly couple who
they value a joint family system or they prefer an funded their only son’s college education in one of
independent relationship with their children. If the esteemed Universities in India. Unfortunately
they conclude that they want to continue to live after his college he landed a low-paying job in
with their adult children, they must ensure that another city far from home – that’s what he
each child contributes to the household expenses. informed his parents. He continued to take
This can be done through sound planning and a financial support from his parents. Sometimes
fair system of division of expenses. under the guise of low-paying job to having
To do this, all expenses must be listed on a a disabled child to unable to pay the medical
spreadsheet. This would include rent and bills and other household expenses citing his
maintenance, energy and water bills, home earning did not suffice. For years parents kept
maintenance and repair, insurance expenses, sending him a large sum to support their only
cleaning expenses, entertainment expenses, food son’s family. Until one day they made a surprise
and groceries expenses and so on. Each adult visit to meet them. And were shocked to find out
member of the family should contribute a fixed that their grandchild was not disabled and their
sum of money per month to the consolidated son was on an extravagant holiday with his wife.
expense sheet thus creating equal responsibility It was after so many years they found out that
amongst family members as opposed to their child had been using them as BoMaD. The
relegating the entire financial burden on one parents finally realised that were being duped
person alone. Families can also create a separate and cut the son off from their will immediately.
joint account where each member would deposit Ramesh was an army officer who had bought
their share every month. A mutually convenient a two-bedroom flat in one of the numerous
date per month could be set on which every corporative societies provided by the defence
member must deposit their share of the expenses. forces for their officers. The flat was worth a
decent sum of money. Ramesh and his wife
A cautionary tale wanted to sell it and use the money for their
When it comes to lending or borrowing money, retirement. Meanwhile his son wanted a loan
25 SENIORS TODAY | Issue #9 | March 15, 2020
