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wealth, the internalisation of unspoken Dealing with Family & Money Issues
messages from parents or even significant Should you give your grownup kid money
investment losses later in life can all create or simply decline?
personality traits that affect spending. Six Questions to Keep in Mind:
Insecure or fearful personalities may ● Is it a one-time help or has it been a
become money hoarders as they struggle to frequent demand?
create a world in which they feel safe and ● Is it likely to impact your retirement?
secure. Money hoarding often increases ● Is the money for a life-threatening
during periods of stress or anxiety. People situation or buying an asset?
with low self-esteem may use compulsive ● Is the money to be given as loan?
spending as a way to validate and make ● Should you have a written agreement?
themselves feel important or as a way to ● Are the other siblings aware of it?
escape from the worries and anxieties of
everyday life. Important points for consideration:
Money avoidance often manifests 1. Be sensible in your own handling of
itself in denial or financial rejection. property, money, jewellery, and any other
Indecisive persons may be so afraid of assets.
making wrong financial decisions that 2. Do not let emotions take over; however
they either minimise or refuse to face much you may love your children (and
financial realities and in the end make poor no one doubts this), money has a way of
financial decisions or no decisions at all. making people ‘giddy’; greed may take
While this may not directly affect daily over; the wrong advice and influence of
spending, refusing to balance a cheque spouses may take over.
book or pay a monthly credit card bill 3. Do not hand over property, money,
can make a bad financial situation worse. any assets in terms of jewellery etc., to any
Financial rejection is spending, but often child/children in your family.
in a different way. Although it can relate 4. Make a Will. All this can be handed over
to overspending, people who for whatever to them in the future; after you pass on;
reason cannot save any amount of money NOTHING to be given before.
without feeling guilty often donate money 5. Property of any sort should be in your
to charities or give money to family name primarily. You are the owner; not
members and friends without considering your son or daughter!
the effect this may have on their current or 6. Remember, you are in charge of your
future financial situation. bank accounts and other finances. Get a
Chartered Accountant to handle all this for
you. Someone, preferably, who you know
and trust; who is not easily influenced by
the opinions of your children.
7. Be cautious in terms of divesting your
wealth to your children and whoever
else you would like to include. Be fair.
Daughters and sons deserve equal rights.
So does your spouse. She/He comes first.
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #30 | DECEMBER 2021 13
