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out of hard plastic, but the newer ones are Suffering. Joy. Upliftment. These are
made of soft rubber, or a gel-like substance continuous pursuits of every generation
that feels more like a real penis. Some that seeks a way to move forward in life.
are flexible and can be bent into different To reject or condemn any aspect of ‘the gift
shapes. Some also include suction cups on of life’ is a way trying to improvise over
the base so that they can be freestanding. existential wisdom.
Dildos are neither manufactured nor sold Passion during lovemaking is as
in India officially. Most people get it from existential and innate as the desire to seek
their personal visits to foreign countries. answers, pray and meditate. These are
At 70, for you to experience erectile like two sides of the same coin. It is the
dysfunction is not unnatural. If you wish same energy that manifests in both the
you may consult a sexologist for help. expressions. From the dawn of civilisation
and even in old practices of faith such as
Q: My husband and I have been married animism – which is one of the oldest beliefs
for 34 years. We are both spiritually that manifested in the history of man when
inclined. We read a lot of spiritual books he was still a hunter gatherer, supernatural
and we also practise meditation together. powers that organize and animate the
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely guilty material universe were referred to. What
every time we have sex with each other. powers are these? I believe they were
The passion during lovemaking makes talking about nature’s instincts for self-
me feel like a beast. My husband also preservation and survival. Whatever
feels wild in the same way. We both try your faith or beliefs, know that the even
and control these aggressive moments back then, it wasn’t really considered
and actions during sex, but it becomes worthwhile fighting against nature and
very difficult at times. I feel extremely that sex is the sustaining and passionate
low about myself at the end of every energy that gives continuity to our species.
sexual encounter with him. I can’t Feel free to express yourself in a way that
shake off the feeling that something is feels natural to you - during lovemaking
seriously going wrong. Can you help us with your husband. Don’t stand in
understand what is happening to us? judgement of yourself. You may not be
A: It would seem that you’ve learned that perfect but you’re human and the human
spirituality and sexuality are in opposition. experience is an iterative one.
Many so-called spiritual and even Sex is a culmination of the love that exists
mainstream religious streams view ‘sex’ between you and your husband and thus
as an obstacle or distraction on the path of some may even refer to it as a divine act.
spirituality. This is a myth. Sharing of intimacy does not make you
Sex is one of our natural instincts. The less spiritual. The self-condemnation and
ability to procreate was gifted to us the guilt that you are experiencing is more
unasked, by existence. It is as normal harmful to your spiritual growth than the
and healthy as other bodily functions. natural passion you feel and express.
Spirituality also guides the seeker to accept — Read the Cover Story of our May 15,
all aspects of life. Life is an invaluable gift 2024 issue titled ‘Sex and the 60+’ by Dr
that should be accepted in totality. Pain. Rajan Bhonsle
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #60 | JUNE 2024 35
