Page 24 - Seniors Today Febuary 2020

women are hesitant to meet on their home turf
It’s good to meet people online, but be careful not to get
conned
Before that is the whole rigmarole of finding
someone and making the connection. The lucky
ones among us have friends and family who help
us to hook up. For the rest of us, it used to be a
not-too-desperate-seeming glance through the
Personal ads in the newspapers… until the advent
of that glorious invention, the internet.
Though the early years of online dating and
matchmaking sites were focused on younger
people, it became clear quickly that age was
no bar to e-hookups. Neither, apparently, was
honesty! We’ve heard plenty of stories of people
getting conned by online suitors – the victims
are often older women, but senior men too get
hoodwinked. When you can’t see who’s at the
other end, it’s a risk one has to take.
Safer, then, to stick with “matches” in your own
city. Alas, society is still so blinkered that many
Togetherness is that elusive quality in a relationship
24
for fear of being misjudged in case “someone
sees”. Still, times have changed quite drastically,
and almost no one looks askance at an older
couple who don’t “look married”, going out
together. Stories such as the news of actress
Suhasini Mulay getting married at the age of 60
are massively encouraging, of course.
Catching the match
How does one find, and catch, that date? All
things considered, I would say that honesty and
frankness is the best bet. While taking care not
to put yourself in a vulnerable or compromising
position, of course. And a dash of unexpected
humour can help, as I discovered when I met
someone – oh, ages ago. When I mentioned being
divorced he asked, “Kids?” “No,” I replied, and
added on the spur of the moment, “but I have
lots of books.” He haha-ed, and was apparently
hooked by that. We had a very nice relationship
for three years, which ended with a change
of location. There were no promises and no
expectations, so we parted (and remain) friends.
Perhaps a relationship without promises and
the related baggage is the ideal one, after all. But
the natural instinct of the human mind is to seek
constancy, which is often a scary prospect for
those of us who have been burned once, or more
than once. So we dither, seeking commitment