Page 18 - Seniorstoday February 2024 Issue

Mind Matters
Inner Reflections:
Love And Relationships
Love is spelled LUV - Listen, Understand and Validate, writes
Dr Monika M Dass
Will Smith’s ideas on Love, “So I was
thinking about love… I was thinking about
how difficult it is for us to find and to
maintain the love that we all yearn for and
it kind of dawned on me that I think a big
part of the problem is that we mis-define
love.
It’s possible that no other one subject has
been more analysed, talked about, and
experienced by every single person on this
planet than love and yet we really have no
clue what it is… you cannot make a person
happy; you can make a person smile; you
can make a person feel good; you can
make a person laugh; but whether or not a
person is happy is deeply and totally and
utterly out of your control; the thing that
we call love the thing that we’re searching
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Image courtesy: soulunion.com
for and we’re trying to create that we call
love is actually not love.
J. Krishnamurti talked about the concept
of the desire pleasure paradigm that we
think about love in terms of desire and
pleasure meaning that if you meet my
needs then I love you; if you
don’t then I don’t; so that love becomes
transactional; if you do what I want if you
meet my desire and give me pleasure, I love
you; if you don’t meet my desire and you
don’t give me pleasure I don’t love you; I
think that that is the insatiable nature of
desire trying to get somebody to fill our
cup. I think that that leads to anger, and
it leads to frustration, and ultimately it
makes us break apart from people.
My daughter Willow really taught me a