Page 14 - Seniorstoday February 2024 Issue
P. 14
formation—and it sounds a warning for is where our magic lies.” He adds, “She’s
the idea that couples mistakenly think that hyper and I am calm. She is practical and
they can change each other over time. I go where life takes me. Her madness, my
There are plenty of reasons why it calmness— all put together is just fine. I
may seem like opposites attract. Superficial think that’s what works for us; it’s exciting
differences may mistakenly allow for and we love it!”
people to appear more opposed than they Bahns says, “We know that people pick
actually are. A “tech guy” and “an artist”, similar people at first, but if you go out of
for example, may look like an antithetical your way you can find excellent friends,
couple, – but “their core values, whether and meaningful relationships, with people
that’s around family or political views,” who are different.”
would likely be similar. Such dissimilar friends didn’t necessarily
Another viewpoint suggests though blend their points-of-view over time, her
the introvert and the extrovert may be study showed. “Anything that disrupts the
differing personality types; they find harmony of the relationship—such as areas
mutual attraction and long-term success of disagreement, especially on attitudes,
because their fundamental life goals align. values, or preferences that are important—
The above research by American is likely to persist,” said Bahns. She added
psychologists is based on socio-cultural this could be a “cautionary message” for
values in the US, but holds its weight in those who think they can change their
India as well. Whether back in our day, friends or romantic partners: “Change is
or currently, a majority of Indian couples difficult and unlikely; it’s easier to select
too, bank on the similarity and agreement people who are compatible with your needs
in many fundamental aspects of life (caste, and goals from the beginning.”
social status, education, belief to mention a
few), when it comes to choosing a partner.
Are couple with opposing views doomed?
This isn’t an aim to broadly paint a dismal
picture that people with polarised values
and views won’t find success together;
it happens, of course, and there can
be benefits to disagreement – or even
fundamental opposition – in couples.
The psychology of humans greatly differs
and relationships and marriages are
known to thrive against all norms and
research.
Actors Arshad Warsi and Maria Goretti Dating apps encourage seeking similar
swear on their differences that have kept partners
their bond strong through twenty five Today, the online networks and sites
years of marriage. “Maria and I are poles many people use to find friends, dates and,
apart,” Warsi told the Bombay Times. We ultimately, love are all nudging us towards
are completely different people and this people who seem to think similarly to us.
14
