Page 13 - Seniorstoday May 2023 Issue
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What doesn’t seem to matter to being very We just want to fix whatever situation is
happy? upsetting the balance.
Political party affiliation or avoiding following All of this is to say that we men aren’t in the
politics. talking business; we’re in the fix-it business.
The second important factor in a partnership From the moment we come out of the womb,
is, understanding what a man’s needs from a we’re taught to protect, profess, and provide.
relationship and what a woman’s needs from a Communicating, nurturing, listening to
relationship. problems, and trying to understand them
A MAN’S POINT OF without any obligation to fix them is simply
VIEW —I read a book by not what boys are raised to do.”
Steve Harvey — “Act like Understanding-2- Let a little boy fall off
a lady think like a man.” It his bike and scrape his knee—see how fast
was eye opening or should everyone tells him to get up and shake it off
I say mind and heart and stop all that doggone crying. “Be a man,”
opening to learn what we demand. We don’t let them cry, we don’t
men are really looking for ask them how they feel about anything, we
in their partnership and don’t encourage them to express themselves
how they think is a lot different from what a in any meaningful way beyond showing
woman brings to the table. how “manly” they are. Now that he’s grown
LISTEN UP WOMEN — and in a relationship, you expect that same
Understanding -1-“For a man, few words boy who was told to keep quiet and keep it
are as menacing as those four -- especially moving to be a man who can sit and listen
when a woman is the one saying them and and communicate and nurture? I’m telling
he’s on the receiving end. Those four words you now: your expectations are off.
can mean only two things to men: either Opening up is not what we do.
we did something wrong or, worse; you Profess, provide, and protect—is how a man
really literally just want to talk. Now, we shows his love. I’m telling you right now: if
understand that we’re not the essence of you go to your man with a situation that’s
perfection and there are going to be times fixable and he doesn’t try to fix it, he is not
when you’re mad at us and need to let your man—he is not in love with you.
us know it; we get that, though we don’t But it’s also all about the return, ladies.
necessarily want to have to concentrate on Please understand and respect the return.
an hour long angry lecture about how we Understanding-3- We respond in a way
screwed up. But even more, No man wants that we believe is logical, our women will
to sit around gabbing with you like we’re inevitably respond emotionally— Most of
one of your girlfriends. Ever. It’s just not in the time, it feels to us that your response is
our DNA to lounge around, sip coffee, and determined not wholly by what is rational.
dab at our eyes with tissue as if we’re in an What you like and how you like it seemingly
AA meeting or on some psychologist’s couch shifts from day to day, sometimes even
trying to get things off our chest. When men moment to moment. And that is not logical to
are talking, and especially when they’re us—we can’t figure it out, a lot of times, the
listening, it’s with purpose. more inexperienced of us men are going to
We don’t vent. completely screw it up.
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #47 | MAY 2023 13
