Page 12 - Seniorstoday May 2024 Issue
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reminisce on joyful times. problem such as erectile dysfunction or
● Be supportive during challenging times premature ejaculation, where neither can
at home or at work. he enjoy sex himself nor can he satisfy his
● ‘Touch’ each other non-sexually in wife, he either deliberately avoids going
passing, to keep the ‘intimate’ connect. to a sex therapist, or then he is totally
● Engage in mutually pleasurable ignorant about the existence of a specialist
‘foreplay’ in the form of non-verbal who is trained in treating sexual problems.
suggestions and physical touching till both If a woman suffers pain during intercourse
are ready to go ahead. or finds herself unable to reach an orgasm,
● Communicate ‘freely and frankly’ she at the most, may visit her gynaecologist
about your likes and dislikes so that but would never even think of consulting a
intimacy is mutually pleasurable. ‘sex therapist’.
● Strictly avoid visual stimuli in the form
of pornographic viewing, so that reality is WHY IS IT SO? Why do we hesitate to
not contaminated by fantasy. consult a ‘sex therapist’?
● Both should freely and uninhibitedly According to us, it’s because of three main
initiate intimacy and gradually involve the causes. We have been taught to look down
other through gentle foreplay. Note: Sex upon sex and sexual desire as something
should never be forced on the other. dirty, shameful, vulgar and condemnable
for generations. A person feels guilty if
he has a normal sexual urge. Those who
consciously suppress their sexual desire
and refrain from sex are respected and
glorified in society. A man feels guilty
if he gets sexually aroused looking at a
beautiful young woman. He feels like a
sinner whenever he masturbates or gets
a wet-dream. A woman too, condemns
herself if she experiences normal sexual
urges. It often happens that the husband
De-Stigmatising Sex Therapy – either looks down upon his wife for her
Discussing When To Consult A Sex expression of a sexual urge or even starts
Therapist suspecting her fidelity if she shows active
Whenever we suffer an asthmatic attack interest in sexual gratification. This age-
or a lung infection we immediately go old condemnatory attitude towards sex
to a chest physician and promptly get and sexual desire comes in the way of
ourselves treated. If our digestive system consulting a sex therapist whenever one
gets dysfunctional, we do not hesitate has a query or difficulty regarding his/her
to go to a gastroenterologist. For a skin sexual desire, sexual capability or sexual
problem, dermatologists are consulted satisfaction.
promptly. Any chest pain and we rush for Another reason why people avoid
an electrocardiogram to a heart specialist. consulting a sex therapist is that there
But whenever a man suffers from a sexual are a number of ‘quacks’, who pose as
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