Page 9 - Seniorstoday May 2024 Issue
P. 9
result in permanent damage to her urinary non-verbal cue, to suggest if s/he wants
system. Luckily, it is not available in India. anything in particular.
What is available in the name of Spanish A note for men: Refrain from presuming
fly is a fake remedy. and pretending to know what a woman
likes and wants, as she will figure out in
Importance of communication in no time that you actually do not know
intimacy what pleasures her. To begin with, young
Communication on sexual issues is one of women may not know what exactly they
the most difficult challenges faced by many want during the early days of their sex life;
couples. If we avoid discussing sexual however, soon they figure out what they
issues openly with each other, we will really want and what they absolutely do
never learn how to communicate in this not enjoy. They may participate in these
matter, and not communicating in this area activities mechanically thinking they
could be detrimental to the health of the ’should‘ be enjoying what their spouse is
relationship. It does not even occur to us to doing. Men think that they are expected to
develop communication skills about sexual know what to do, and women too expect
relating although it is not only extremely them to know it all. However, the truth
important, but also extremely essential is that neither of them knows it all and
for the relationship. Discomfort and communication is the only master key to
embarrassment is a learned attitude about explore sexual pleasure together.
the subject of ‘sex’. Couples often engage David Reuben, author of ‘How to Get
in the sexual act, presuming and believing the Most out of Sex’ writes: “If sex is
that they know what their spouse wants or right, then everything is right. If sex is
likes based either on some random reading wrong then nothing else can be right”.
or pornographic viewing. This invariably Many people think about their sex life
results in an awkward, dissatisfying, hasty and some even talk about it, but find
and clumsy sexual act. themselves completely at a loss when it
Couples need to sincerely ask questions comes to ‘doing’ something constructive
such as “Are you comfortable?”, “What about making it mutually satisfying.
would you like me to do?”, “Does this feel “How can my husband and I love each
pleasurable?”, “What can I do to make other so much, yet have such a dull and
it better for you?”, “Is there anything unexciting sex life?” asked a friend who
in particular that you enjoy more or is herself a clinical psychologist. Had she
something you do not enjoy. discussed the problem with her husband,
a gynaecologist, to whom she has been
Teaching couples to freely and frankly married for over 11 years? “I seem to be able
talk about sex to talk to him about everything but our sex
If you are uneasy and uncomfortable life,” she said at last. “I don’t know how
asking such questions clearly, then to tell him what I need without seeming
probably you are not at a point in the to criticise.” Women from all walks of
relationship where you should explore sex life, of all educational levels, and with
at all. You can ask your spouse to signal to varying sexual experiences, voice similar
you, by squeezing your arm or any other sentiments.
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #59 | MAY 2024 9
