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space of creating art, it became a spiritual in my life was that it influenced me to
experience that drew me closer to my make better relationship choices. My first
spirit’s voice. marriage was emotionally abusive, and I
Before I found true self-love (spirit-based stayed in it because I felt addicted to the
self-love), I thought self-love was about relationship and I felt that, on some level,
pampering ourselves, for example, by I didn’t deserve real love. But as my self-
buying a new outfit, getting a manicure, or worth grew from reading self-help books,
going on vacation in order to feel happy. I was eventually able to leave and find a
Pampering is not a bad thing if we can wonderful love with my husband, Jody.
afford it, but it does become self-sabotage if For me, my biggest obstacle to self-love
we can’t. was just not knowing what self-love was.
Pampering is more about distracting Now that I know what it is, I can realign
ourselves from our problems rather than myself with unconditional self-love just
looking at them and dealing with them. by catching myself when I start to treat
Real self-love is not about anything myself unfairly and reminding myself
you can buy; therefore, it is available to that I deserve my own love and support.
everyone. Real self-love is about healing,
helping, supporting, and empowering
ourselves. It’s about examining what
we believe about life and ourselves, and
then challenging those beliefs to see if
they are truly beneficial to our health
and happiness.
The goal of unconditional self-love is to
live our best life with a sense of wholeness,
health, peace, and empowerment. Here are some of the key points that I have
Empowerment enables us to change our discovered about self-love:
lives for the better and to make the world a • Self-love is about the relationship that
better place. we have with ourselves. It’s about speaking
Before I found self-love, I used to be a lot to ourselves, treating ourselves, and seeing
more critical with myself. For example, ourselves with kindness, forgiveness,
I hated how sensitive I was because fairness, encouragement, patience, and
my sensitivity caused me to experience helpfulness.
depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. • Self-love is about paying attention to
This sensitive nature made me feel stupid, what we need in all areas of our lives
worthless, and weak. instead of ignoring, avoiding, or neglecting
But when I began to love myself, I those needs.
began to look at the positive side of my • Self-love is a gradual and growing
sensitivity—that it gave me the ability to process that deepens and matures over our
understand things on a deeper level and lifetime. It’s normal to get distracted away
to create meaningful art that touches the from self-love. It’s natural to go back and
hearts of others. forth, forgetting and then remembering
Another area where self-love improved to love ourselves. But as we continue
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #67 | JANUARY 2025 41
