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space of creating art, it became a spiritual      in my life was that it influenced me to
         experience that drew me closer to my              make better relationship choices. My first
         spirit’s voice.                                   marriage was emotionally abusive, and I
          Before I found true self-love (spirit-based      stayed in it because I felt addicted to the
         self-love), I thought self-love was about         relationship and I felt that, on some level,
         pampering ourselves, for example, by              I didn’t deserve real love. But as my self-
         buying a new outfit, getting a manicure, or       worth grew from reading self-help books,
         going on vacation in order to feel happy.         I was eventually able to leave and find a
         Pampering is not a bad thing if we can            wonderful love with my husband, Jody.
         afford it, but it does become self-sabotage if      For me, my biggest obstacle to self-love
         we can’t.                                         was just not knowing what self-love was.
          Pampering is more about distracting              Now that I know what it is, I can realign
         ourselves from our problems rather than           myself with unconditional self-love just
         looking at them and dealing with them.            by catching myself when I start to treat
          Real self-love is not about anything             myself unfairly and reminding myself
         you can buy; therefore, it is available to        that I deserve my own love and support.
         everyone. Real self-love is about healing,
         helping, supporting, and empowering
         ourselves. It’s about examining what
         we believe about life and ourselves, and
         then challenging those beliefs to see if
         they are truly beneficial to our health
         and happiness.
          The goal of unconditional self-love is to
         live our best life with a sense of wholeness,
         health, peace, and empowerment.                     Here are some of the key points that I have
         Empowerment enables us to change our               discovered about self-love:
         lives for the better and to make the world a        • Self-love is about the relationship that
         better place.                                      we have with ourselves. It’s about speaking
          Before I found self-love, I used to be a lot      to ourselves, treating ourselves, and seeing
         more critical with myself. For example,            ourselves with kindness, forgiveness,
         I hated how sensitive I was because                fairness, encouragement, patience, and
         my sensitivity caused me to experience             helpfulness.
         depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.             • Self-love is about paying attention to
         This sensitive nature made me feel stupid,         what we need in all areas of our lives
         worthless, and weak.                               instead of ignoring, avoiding, or neglecting
          But when I began to love myself, I                those needs.
         began to look at the positive side of my            • Self-love is a gradual and growing
         sensitivity—that it gave me the ability to         process that deepens and matures over our
         understand things on a deeper level and            lifetime. It’s normal to get distracted away
         to create meaningful art that touches the          from self-love. It’s natural to go back and
         hearts of others.                                  forth, forgetting and then remembering
          Another area where self-love improved             to love ourselves. But as we continue


        SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #67 | JANUARY 2025                                                            41
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