Page 7 - Seniors Today December 2020
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more in your own misery and look deeply            into a life of extreme poverty. My dad was
         within yourself. Seeing intensely without          physically strong as an elephant and also
         any preconception, you discover all kinds          had willpower to match that. He had a great
         of boxes that you need to tick, look at the        never-say-die spirit, didn’t particularly
         past and present. This kind of introspection       moan or ever get depressed at any situation.
         changes everything. In this process you            My parents kept coming into my thoughts. I
         discover the kind of person you have been          remembered all the bhajans that my mother
         and what lies ahead. As a youngster I used         sang. And all those sayings, lines of wisdom
         to keep saying that I was going to live up         that they said. It was my dad who changed
         to three score and ten as prescribed by the        our destiny and I am forever grateful to him.
         Bible. Now that I was almost there, I didn’t
         know what to do. What did I do to justify my       Boxes in the head
         existence? Frankly, nothing of consequence         One by one I opened all the boxes in my
         – just went with the flow as most mediocre         head. Things that were wrong, the evil, the
         people do.                                         lies, the cheats and the deceit – that box was
                                                            a hornets’ nest. I recounted little by little all
         A unique ordeal                                    those clandestine pleasures and justified to
         Opening yourself to yourself is an ordeal          myself that they were the wild escapades
         like no other. It’s like being in the power of     of youth. The next box I opened was an
         someone you cannot reach but who never             account ledger, there are some debts that can
         lets you go and forces you to accept yourself.     be repaid with money and there are some
         Coming to terms with who you are/who you           debts that remain outstanding even after the
         have been, is an awful experience. However,        money is paid, and you take them with you.
         when you tick the good boxes, you thank            God sends these people to help you out of
         God for his benevolence in helping you             your troubles. Here I seem to have passed
         achieve the good things that you did. You          the tests one by one; I have told my children
         realise heaven on earth is already here and        all the favours that were bestowed upon
         we have been too busy and preoccupied to           us and it was amazing that I remembered
         see it. For me God already existed. Within         everything from my childhood to now. Eight
         ourselves the good and the bad already co-         days in a hospital by yourself is a long time.
         exist and are inseparable partners.                There is something about never forgetting
          My dad had a great line for thanksgiving,
         “Yeh toh tera karam hai rabba, ke baat ab tak
         bani hui hai.”
          Sitting all alone in the hospital I thought of
         my parents, their simple life, their charity,
         honesty and their religiosity. Religion has
         a different connotation when you are rich
         and very different when you are not. Parents
         have a great influence on their children’s life.
         Immigrating from Rawalpindi (Pakistan)
         to India was a traumatic experience and            It’s painful to think of losing someone you love, but it’s
         a series of unfortunate incidents led them         practical to be prepared for it


        SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #18 | DECEMBER 2020                                                           7
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