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more in your own misery and look deeply into a life of extreme poverty. My dad was
within yourself. Seeing intensely without physically strong as an elephant and also
any preconception, you discover all kinds had willpower to match that. He had a great
of boxes that you need to tick, look at the never-say-die spirit, didn’t particularly
past and present. This kind of introspection moan or ever get depressed at any situation.
changes everything. In this process you My parents kept coming into my thoughts. I
discover the kind of person you have been remembered all the bhajans that my mother
and what lies ahead. As a youngster I used sang. And all those sayings, lines of wisdom
to keep saying that I was going to live up that they said. It was my dad who changed
to three score and ten as prescribed by the our destiny and I am forever grateful to him.
Bible. Now that I was almost there, I didn’t
know what to do. What did I do to justify my Boxes in the head
existence? Frankly, nothing of consequence One by one I opened all the boxes in my
– just went with the flow as most mediocre head. Things that were wrong, the evil, the
people do. lies, the cheats and the deceit – that box was
a hornets’ nest. I recounted little by little all
A unique ordeal those clandestine pleasures and justified to
Opening yourself to yourself is an ordeal myself that they were the wild escapades
like no other. It’s like being in the power of of youth. The next box I opened was an
someone you cannot reach but who never account ledger, there are some debts that can
lets you go and forces you to accept yourself. be repaid with money and there are some
Coming to terms with who you are/who you debts that remain outstanding even after the
have been, is an awful experience. However, money is paid, and you take them with you.
when you tick the good boxes, you thank God sends these people to help you out of
God for his benevolence in helping you your troubles. Here I seem to have passed
achieve the good things that you did. You the tests one by one; I have told my children
realise heaven on earth is already here and all the favours that were bestowed upon
we have been too busy and preoccupied to us and it was amazing that I remembered
see it. For me God already existed. Within everything from my childhood to now. Eight
ourselves the good and the bad already co- days in a hospital by yourself is a long time.
exist and are inseparable partners. There is something about never forgetting
My dad had a great line for thanksgiving,
“Yeh toh tera karam hai rabba, ke baat ab tak
bani hui hai.”
Sitting all alone in the hospital I thought of
my parents, their simple life, their charity,
honesty and their religiosity. Religion has
a different connotation when you are rich
and very different when you are not. Parents
have a great influence on their children’s life.
Immigrating from Rawalpindi (Pakistan)
to India was a traumatic experience and It’s painful to think of losing someone you love, but it’s
a series of unfortunate incidents led them practical to be prepared for it
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #18 | DECEMBER 2020 7
