Page 14 - Seniors Today Magazine April 2024
P. 14
could be tried out in India). Draw up a married to an extremely wealthy man.
promissory note with a lawyer, when The decision caused considerable hurt
offering a loan. Gift or loan, there is no and anger from the daughter. In her mind,
guarantee that children will give money it had nothing to do with that money…
back if a parent needs it later. It was: does my dad love me the same as
A couple gave each of their five children everyone else?
50 lakhs, with the understanding that As per sociologists, child-centric family
if the parents ever needed money for structures have given the modern society a
medical care, the children would give psyche that parents exist for the welfare of
the money back. But when the surviving their children, and they must do whatever
spouse incurred medical conditions that it takes. This completely emotion-driven
required round-the-clock care, two of the decision to create a cohesive family unit
five children refused to return the money burdens parents with the responsibility
to allow their father to receive care in his of their child’s failures. The obsession has
home. His money, remember!! led to a generation of helicopter parents
Giving a child money for certain who have to know and solve all of their
milestones, like college graduation, children’s problems, safeguard them
marriage or the birth of children may from everything that could go wrong, and
seem like a good idea on paper. But it can support them when it does. This applies to
stoke feelings of anger and resentment conscious choices their children willingly
in children who do not marry or cannot make in spite of knowing the consequences
have children. Be open and fair when - especially financial.
giving money to adult children. If money There is a story of a young Indian man,
is given to one child, the other children who having spent his life in the States,
should be informed and promised similar decided to visit his ageing parents. He
monetary gifts either now or at the time of hung around for quite a while, and finally
inheritance. wormed his way into their minds, their
Most children keep a scorecard - even if finances, their lives, their thinking… he
parents do not. If that scorecard of lifetime gradually got them to sell everything one
gifts is not roughly equal at the time of the by one; accounts were opened, and money
parents’ death, then there is a problem - was put into the young man’s name.
not a legal problem - a family problem. Basically, these parents were trusting but
There is story of a couple cutting their extremely naive; they were keen that their
daughter out of their will because they son should get married and settle down. As
felt she did not need the money - she was things unfolded, they discovered that he
had already gotten married to an American
lady. The story goes, that the parents
decided to move to the States, tickets were
bought, the day arrived for them to leave…
they reached the airport, and the son told
them to sit down while he checked them
in. He never returned. This couple were
left destitute, with nothing in their name,
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