Page 13 - Seniors Today Magazine April 2024
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First, make sure there is a rule-based children when they need it most, and it can
system that clarifies the basics. In many save on inheritance taxes when a parent
Indian homes where the adult child is dies.
living at home with the parents, there is There are the parents who, because of
a pooled account for household expenses pressure or guilt, hand over money every
into which everyone contributes. There is time an adult child requests it - even if it
a clear understanding of who will do what, is for frivolous reasons, like taking a trip
and who will spend for what. In exchange or buying the latest high-tech gadget, and
for saving on rent, and the possible even if they cannot afford it!
inheritance of property, children take care Why??!
of their parents well into old age. Not all Recognise your emotional limitations and
arrangements are firm, but the broad rules psychological responses to your child’s
are set. There is no harm, for example, in demands. It is important for both parents
providing a fixed monthly income for a to agree to limit their support. Many
period of time for ‘sons who want to return parents choose to live separately from
home’; let them live independently, money their children, but their being needy of
being given for a fixed time, within which acceptance and attention leads to financing
‘he’ has to find a job. their children and remaining unwilling
Generally, parents making bad money to say no. Children learn which button to
decisions fall into one of two categories, push!!
hoarders and cash cows: Do not give anything away that you are
Hoarders take ‘tough love’ to another going to miss, cannot afford, may need or
extreme - They refuse ever to give an adult puts you into poverty. About 90 percent
child money, insisting that the child work of liquid assets are spent during the last
multiple jobs to pay for college or medical 10 percent to 20 percent of a person’s
bills. Then, when they die, they leave their life, largely because of medical expenses.
entire estate to an adult child who might Parents should not give away more than 10
no longer need it. For example, there was a percent of their liquid assets.
‘young man’ who came in to pick up a check Reinforce the power you wield on your
for the $1 million his mother had left him in assets and money. It is what you have
her will. It was a classic hoarder story. The earned in your lifetime, and you have the
client’s parents refused to have a dentist fix right to spend it as you see fit!
his crooked, discoloured teeth as a child,
making him feel self-conscious, and would
not spend anything to help with him with
college, his wedding or the purchase of
his first home. “When I really needed the
money, it was never there for me,” the son
told him. “What the hell does she want me
to do with this now – I am 70 years old.”
Give your children monetary gifts
while they are alive, rather than leaving Sometimes a loan, rather than a gift, is
everything in a will. This helps adult more appropriate (very American, but
SENIORS TODAY | ISSUE #58 | APRIL 2024 13
