Page 12 - Seniors Today Magazine April 2024

While the Gilbert case is an extreme a job in a small mining town hundreds
example, it speaks of a common dilemma
for parents with money to spare: When
and how much should they give to an
adult child who comes asking for money -
especially one who is able-bodied and well-
educated? How long should any financial
help last? And should it be a gift, loan or
advance on an inheritance?
Image courtesy: New York Post healthy, both had high-paying jobs and
Thomas Gilbert shot his father for cutting his allowance
of $1000
Legal experts caution parents to carefully
scrutinize the need for the money and how
it could affect the child’s long-term ability
to live, work and succeed in the world.
Money is a metaphor for love and control.
The biggest challenge is providing enough
money to help a child through a challenge,
but not giving to the point where it kills the
person’s motivation to work and succeed!
If money is needed for an urgent matter
- like emergency surgery, medical bills, a
lost job, house foreclosure or costly divorce
- it’s a no-brainer: parents should help in
such situations as long as they can afford
it. You are rescuing them temporarily; you
are not indulging them forever and putting
them on your payroll.
But even then, parents should do a little
due diligence first. You must be careful not
to be taken advantage of by a child. There
is a story of an older couple whose only
child had a college degree in geology but
struggled to find work. Even after taking
12
of miles away, the son continued asking
his parents for money to cover housing
costs, prescriptions for illnesses he said he
and his wife had, and bills related to their
disabled child. But years later, when the
elderly parents were finally able to make
their first - surprise - visit to the town, they
were shocked to discover a lavish, well-
furnished home, shiny new cars in the
driveway and a live-in nanny, who told
them the couple was in Puerto Rico for a
10-day cruise. The young parents were
their child was not disabled. The parents
felt duped and immediately cut their son
out of their will.
Experts see some needs, like education,
as a compelling area for giving money to
children. Paying for college tuition can
be an investment in a child’s long-term
employment future.
But how should parents handle the
growing number of young people,
especially millennials, who are staying
home longer, marrying later - if at all - and
relying on their parents for free rent, food,
and car insurance?
This basically is creating a dependency!
Parents should not allow their adult
children to live rent-free without any
deadlines and not to pay an allowance
without any strings attached. We do not
want another Tommy Gilbert situation!
Image courtesy: The Economic Times