Good reasons to have more sex

How do you define sex?

Whether it’s about intercourse, foreplay, swinging from your bedpost or in the shower, the bottom line is —

Sex is as good as you make it.

This profound statement is something older adults understand better.

As we grow older, we understand our bodies better, what we like, what works for a quickie or long stay.

Men have better control of erections and often make sure their partners are fulfilled before the ejaculation.

Women on the other hand, feel more sexually confident, know how to wangle their way through to experience one great O, and multiple to follow before their partner is fulfilled.

One more major attribution to better sex is being able to let go, be spontaneous without having to worry about pregnancy since menopause has kicked in.

Has your sex life evolved with age?

Do you feel more confident of yourself between the sheets?

Here Are Some Myths —

Dispel them quickly I say, Sex is an important part of life —

– When in a long-term relationship, you expect your partner to know what you like— 

Though this is a common thought, it is far from the truth. In the new stages of a relationship, one is often trying to impress each other in every way, sadly, communication between the sheets on sexual needs are often over looked.

Why does this happen?

Overcome —

Communication is the key, we humans are always afraid of being judged, self-conscious or just our upbringing of sex being a taboo topic can keep us from communicating with our partners. Start talking, a gentle chat over dinner or during a walk in the park can leave time for both to digest the conversation and get over shyness, before the next act.

– Sex is for the young, older adults don’t need it —

Yes, our bodies do change as we age; physical changes are an avoidable part of life; flexibility and stamina are definitely compromised. This does not mean that sex is off the table. There is plenty of medical help out there.

Overcome — Medical inventions

For men— Viagra and Cialis can help with erection issues.

For women— Good quality lubricants, hormone creams are yours to play around with.

– Sex toys are for the explorers —

Sex toys are fun and useful for all people at all ages and stages of relationships. There are thousands of products out there and truly something for everyone’s needs and fantasies. In older adults, it takes the pressure off ‘performance,’ and over thinking whether you are not experienced enough or over experienced for that matter too.

Initially you may be a bit intimidated, once you adapt, there is no looking back. Be in the moment, enjoy the intimacy and you will discover the joy of self-pleasure. You will get by with a little help from your new friend.

NOTE: Condoms should be used if sharing sex toys with a partner especially if you have multiple partners.

Now that your myths are dispelled, lets look at some more good reasons to indulge in sex —

If you thought that the only benefit of sex was pleasure, when you’re in the mood or you only think of the big ‘O’ and getting serviced for that.

Sex offers health benefits too, yes its true —

A satisfying roll in the hay can —

Improve cardiovascular health

Boost your immune system

Improve your memory and keep you sharp

Relieve pain

Reduce stress

Promote longevity

Help you sleep

Burn calories

Build emotional bonds

Now that’s a lot of benefits for free, you can keep medical bills at bay and enjoy the night away.

Sex positions that can improve your Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep are worth a mention here —

What is Rapid Eye Movement (REM)?

REM is the most important stage of a sleep cycle; it is during this stage of sleep that the brain is stimulated for essentials of learning and memory. Your sleep is not as deep; in fact the brain activities are similar to when you are awake.

During REM you will experience your most intense dreams.

REM sleep usually arrives about an hour or two after you fall asleep and takes place multiple times during the sleep period.

The first REM could last for ten minutes and get longer subsequently.

Now the important thing is that as we age REM sleep decreases and research says — that a lack of good quality sleep can lead to a decline in mood, libido and romantic motivation.

Sex, before bedtime can double your REM sleep

Sex positions that increase your REM sleep —

Doggie style

Lotus

Eagle

The bridge

Cowgirl

Flatiron

The Caboose

69

Leapfrog

G-Whiz

Sex positions that decrease your REM sleep —

The corkscrew

Horizontal 69

The spider

Standing sex

valedictorian

Missionary

Ballet dancer

Spooning

Pretzel dip

Magic Mountain

With this information, I hereby state —

Sex has been around since the beginning of time and is a very important part of our lives. There are many misconceptions surrounding sex and ageing, a topic taboo and misunderstood.

So let me put it to you as is — As we age sex becomes more interpersonal, it involves more touching, taking it slower, less focus on penis in vagina (intercourse) and more focus on extended foreplay, connection, and closeness Although there may be reduced lubrication, less intense orgasms, softer erections, it doesn’t mean you are no longer interested in sex —

It means that sex becomes more about quality than quantity.