Bow and Take a Bow

Let our humility come to the fore and respect for others manifest in our behaviour, writes Nagesh Alai

Over the past few days I have been in the process of shifting homes necessarily involving decluttering, discarding and donating of house hold and kitchen items. A sizeable chunk of utensils, crockery, pulses, grains and sundry other food items were handed over to the cook who has been with us during our stay in a temporary rented accommodation. Since there were several items and packages, the cook had to call her teenage daughter, who had just passed her 12th standard exams, to help her take the stuff away. I had never met the daughter before. The moment she entered the apartment and saw me, she put her palms together in salutation and touched my feet. I was taken aback by her prostration, but instinctively responded with a namaskar and blessed her by placing my right hand over her head. The age-old Indian  cultural custom of revering and regarding elders and seeking their blessings has seen a gradual erosion over the years amongst the independent minded youth driven as much by their questioning everything status quo as by intellectualising everything. The teenager’s action was heart-warming and touching more so because it requires courage to be humble and confidence to bow to someone unknown.

I have been practising that well-instilled custom till date well into my late sixties, as do many of my contemporaries. In one of my usual debates with my own two sons over the years, I have heard their resistance to conformation while being agreeable to doing it for anyone who they see as worthy and have made a difference to them. Their contention was that age does not necessarily mean wisdom and they would be hence averse to practice it universally, but most certainly selectively. They were but representative and reflective of their generation and I was understanding of their views. But the point remains that the expression of humility and acceptance of the eternity of knowledge gaps and seeking the elder’s blessings to fulfil these gaps that bowing or prostration implies is somewhere lost or just being dismissed as avoidable in the face of extreme individualism. I wonder if my bowing and prostrating to a much younger priest who has more knowledge of our scriptures and texts than me would be derided, though I am convinced of my action and the philosophy behind it. 

There is a growing adverse behavioural manifestations in public that is evident in the dilution of our well tested philosophy behind life and living. 

The other day I was driving at moderate speed on a busy thoroughfare. One of the young delivery riders, who are perpetually in a tearing hurry, overtook me from the left side, while making it a point to slow down a bit and hurl unprintable cuss words at me. It did not matter to him that I was an elder and I did no wrong.

Some months ago, an Uber driver cut me sharply from left and overtook me at a traffic choked signal. In the bargain his car touched me. He stopped his car in the busy road and started a heated argument and demanded money from me.  I politely told him he cannot hold me responsible and that my car too has been scratched. Beside, we have our respective insurance to claim the costs of repairs. He would have none of it, but I insisted that we go to a police station and lodge a complaint. So we drove together with me following him to the police station. After a short fifteen minutes’ drive through the chock-a-block traffic, he stopped his car at Sion Hospital and aggressively asked for money. I refused saying that we are going to the police station precisely to lodge the complaint and get our respective insurance claims. But he would not have any of it and threatened that he would smash my windshield if I don’t pay. I stood my ground and dared him to do so and that I will be filming him doing it. Maybe he saw my composure, maybe he saw I was a senior citizen; he got frustrated and cursed me no end and went off since he had a passenger waiting in his car. Perhaps I got lucky. We all know about road-rage driven scuffles, violence and death. But that incidence did leave me rattled. Mortified enough to use app rides 95% of the times rather than driving my car. 

The lack of civility, aggressiveness and misbehaviours reflect multitudinously in our daily lives. You cannot assume safety whilst crossing on zebra stripes as signals are not followed by zipping two wheelers and impatient four wheelers. On the other side pedestrians cross indiscriminately even at reds, leading to several accidents, some fatal. Indiscriminate speeding and overtaking from the wrong sides leading to major accidents and loss of lives are daily news headliners. Two wheelers driving on pedestrian footpaths in choking traffics are de rigueur. Trying accosting any of these people and expect any repentance! It will be instead a self-entitling “my way, not yours” response in most cases. Rules be damned. 

Try taking an escalator in a mall. You will hardly find anyone standing to the left and keeping the right side free for others to pass. Queue jumpers in any line are endemic and only a few will take them on. No washroom in any public places including glitzy malls will be kept dry and neat by most users for the next person. Finding food wrappers and packs tossed by people instead of taking the trouble to locate dust bins, should not come as a surprise. But the same people will hold forth on faulting the staff or the municipality. Double parking, blocking other parked cars, honking incessantly and myriad other similar instances are routine.

Shrill mobile rings, loud talking and playing noisy videos are common place in restaurants and auditoriums with no concern or sensitivity towards other patrons. Rude behaviour rules where manners should be the mores. 

Technology and opportunities have opened up pathways to become lettered and rich, but sadly has left many poor of behaviour and civility. The individual has become more important than her/his role in a collective society. It is little wonder that public mores and morals have taken a beating. 

Perhaps the solution to lack of civility and mal behaviour lies in bowing to everyone with a namaskar. After all, there is the Supreme in everyone. Let our humility come to the fore and respect for others manifest in our behaviour. That is the true path to realizing the Self.