It is tempting to say, only in America, but the Ashley Madison site originated in Canada. Launched in 2001, the site named after two popular women’s names, had the tagline “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” It did not hide the fact that it was a hookup site for married people, looking for a no-strings-attached fling.
People—mostly men—would put up their profiles, what they were looking for in the affair, and their credit card information, because to connect with a woman on the site, they’d have to pay. In a short while, the site gathered 40 million users and made millions of dollars for the owners. Noel Biderman, the man who took over the site and made it grow, had on his door a sign that said, “Minister of Affairs.” He insisted that it was not a porn site, but it was for mature people, who understood consent. According to him, that one night stand, actually spiced up fading marriages and may actually have saved them.
The site promised discretion and complete secrecy. But as it turned out, they were stunningly lax about security and it hit them when the site was hacked by an outfit that called itself the Impact Group. Their only demand was that Ashley Madison shut down immediately or all that secret data would be released.
With the arrogance that comes with success, Biderman did not take the threat too seriously, till the unthinkable happened. It is this data breach, supposedly the largest ever, that is the basis of the three-part Netflix docuseries, Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal, directed by Toby Paton. (So shocking was the aftermath of the hacking that there have been other TV and film projects made on this incident.)
The makers interviewed former staff, a few users who were outed, journalists who followed the story, data security experts who tried, and failed, to trace the hackers. As the personal and financial details of millions of users were made public, marriages broke up, lives were ruined, and there were a few suicides too. The ones who were unaffected were like couple Rob and Stephanie, who have an open marriage and are quite matter-of-fact about fulfilling their fantasies outside of the marriage. But another young couple, Sam and Nia, who look like they have a perfect relationship, are shattered by the leaking of names.
Later, the hackers leaked more data, that revealed Biderman’s serial infidelity with underage escorts and also the appalling fact that Ashley Madison took money to delete accounts on request, but did not do so, and also that many of the women on the site, were actually bots, and men were paying to communicate online with them.
In the Netflix true crime style, the interviews are interspersed with dramatic enactments, with ominous music. The scandal affected Ashley Madison for a while and there was a staff shake-up, including Biderman’s exit, but the site still exists and boasts of 70 million users. At one point, they also tried to enter the Indian market, with the tagline: Your parents arranged your marriage, let Ashley Madison arrange your affair.
It is a modern-day horror story, with privacy being held for ransom all the time. But even the fear of exposure and the possibility of being scammed, does not deter men from signing up on the site. Obviously, marriage is not always happily-ever-after and those who want to have extra marital affairs don’t need an Ashley Madison to do the cruising for them. But astonishingly, 70 million people need help!
Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal
Directed by Toby Paton
On Netflix
