Divestment, Detachment and Deportment in Senescence

Nalini Ashokan, a mid-sexagenarian, has had a successful near-four decades career in management consultancy and has been into her superannuated phase for a few years now. A rigorous work schedule for most part of her working life had kept her preoccupied rather without let-up, save for those periodic but treasured travels and outings with her family and loved ones. Professional socialising was aplenty, driven more by the inescapable networking needs to ensure professional growth,  rather than any meaningful and deep relationships. Amid all this, as a responsible spouse, mother and the bread winner, she had consistently devoted her time in bringing up her children and educating them, maintaining an even-keel relationship, as best as possible,  with her spouse who could have done better in life, investing monies wisely in shares, mutual funds and real estate and her passion indulgences like art and antiquities. She was a voracious reader, as was her husband, and their two sons too imbibed the reading habit. Their home was lined with book shelves donning books on a wide range of subjects and was a veritable library. 

Her elder son had married a few years ago and the couple had recently moved out in search of primacy and privacy of leading their own independent lives. Her younger son had moved to the Silicon Valley of India and had no plans to get back to his city of birth. The regular companionship of the past with her children was slowly transitioning to  irregular interactions, given their brisk and buzzing lives. Her husband too had retired and grappling with an inactive non-professional existence. Her professional colleagues and acquaintances of the past had moved on and rarely in touch; not surprisingly, given the anachronism of her past clout and influence.   

Nalini, an avid nature enthusiast, went on treks and climbs to mountains as much as she could, limited only by her squeaky and creaky joints. Social soirees had come down quite significantly, but this did not bother her as she awoke to the fulsomeness of solitude and selective fraternizing.

She had been wanting to take stock of the balance sheet of life, both realistically and metaphorically, but had been  quite overwhelmed with the innumerable elements in it, leading to inertia and paralysis. While quite competent and knowledgeable on these fronts, she was finding it difficult to decide dispassionately the course of action to be taken, particularly in view of the fact that at her age, she probably had another decade and a half of life in mother earth, God-willing and health-permitting and aimed to lead a meaningful life for the remainder of her breath. 

 She and her husband had a heart-to-heart chat, now that there was no under-the-surface competition or insecurities in their retired lives. Save for their differing professional trajectories and successes, Nalini and her husband deeply loved and respected each other  and could read each other’s pulse and beats. They had always believed in giving each other space and live on their own terms without compromising on familial harmony and co-existence.

After rounds of discussions with their sons and a few well-wishers, they decided on a course of action and set about executing their decisions, step by step. The steps that they took permeated the entire spectrum of physical, psychological and philosophical aspects of life and could be relevant for any person in a similar situation.

1. They had a total of four vehicles – in difference categories – mid-size, mid-segment, luxury sedans and SUVs. Maintaining a fleet of vehicles could be enervating and expensive. Based on realistic assessment of their current needs and practical approach, they downsized the fleet by selling off three vehicles and retained only one. They used it sparingly and migrated to using app-based mobility as much as possible. This led to substantial savings in running and maintaining costs, traffic and parking related nightmares and the sheer pleasure of just hopping on and hopping off without having to drive.

1. They had three large apartments. They had bought one for themselves and two for their two sons. Since the sons had settled elsewhere, they sold off the two apartments meant for them and invested the proceeds in safe mutual funds, affording them an income stream and liquidity. They also sold off their own apartment and moved to a smaller and more manageable house.
2. They sold off their second home in a distance suburb, since they were hardly visiting it and the cost of maintenance was not worth it. They could as well stay in different locations in difference cities and have a rich and varied experiences, from the incomed generated out of the sale proceeds.
3. Their portfolio consisted of over fifty difference equities and mutual funds and it was becoming difficult to manage them. They truncated their holdings to ten of each, enabling a better tracking of performance and price movements.
4. They created a systematic withdrawal plan to fund their periodic vacations and travels. They had decided on a minimum of two foreign and two domestic travels with each other. Nothing can beat travel experiences. 
5. They created a separate stream of annual maturity investments with the objective of hosting a an annual get together of their relatives and friends on their wedding anniversary, as an expression of their gratitude and joy for being a part of their lives. 
6. They diverted a part of their holdings to create two medical emergency corpuses, to provide for any hospitalisation and treatment.
7. They ensured the nomination of their spouse and children in each other’s holding in identical 50:25:25 ratio.
8. With the help of their trusted lawyer friend, they executed their respective wills and appointed executors. 
9. In the interest of maintaining their health in a fun way and to keep each other motivated, they joined aerobic, yoga and dance classes. This helped them maintain a discipline. Age should never be a limitation after all. They also made it a point to walk a minimum of 5 kms every day in a nearby promenade, besides subsisting on a tempered and nutritious diet.
10. They decided to read a minimum of three books each month and become a member of a book club, where they can have interesting analysis and appreciation of various forms of writing and meet interesting people with common interests.
11. They actively associate with a few worthy causes and NGOs and help out in whatever way they can, be it time or money or knowledge sharing.
12. Once a week, without fail, they retreat to a meditation haven for day, just to be by themselves and get to terms with what their life has been, is and will be.

We all come to this world empty handed and will go out empty handed. The interregnum is a journey of learning and unlearning, conscious and unconscious acts, destiny and serendipity, friendship and enmity, religion and relationships, marriages and divorces, wealth and health, wellbeing and sickness, profits and losses, success and failure, joy and sorrow, cries and silence, investment and divestment and an array of emotions and experiences. Different phases will onset different tests and tribulations and it is for us to respond to them as well as possible.

Senescence is no different; divestment, detachment and deportment are ineluctable as ever. Quite simply, we need to prepare for our terminal journey.