Thursday Tales

Some funny anecdotes to make you smile. If you have any tale or story to share for some laughs, please write to us at inbox@seniorstoday.in

A Shoe Box of Treasure

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask about it.

For all of these years the old man had never thought about the box. But, one day the little old woman got very sick and she knew she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling 1, 00,000. He asked her about the contents.

“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was never to argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was moved to tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“My love,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

Generous Senior 

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?’

‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth’, she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then?’

The old lady replied, ‘We just love the chocolate around them.’

Albert

An old man was grocery shopping with his grandson. The toddler was crying, and at times, screaming at the top of his lungs.

As the old gentleman walked up and down the aisles, people could hear him speaking in a soft voice… ‘We are almost done, Albert…try not to cry, Albert… Life will get better, Albert…’

As he approached the checkout stand, he carefully brushed the toddler’s tears from his eyes and said again, ‘Try not to cry, Albert… We will be home soon, Albert…’

As he was paying the cashier, the toddler continued to cry and scream. A young woman in line behind him said, ‘Sir, I think it is wonderful how sweet you are being to your little Albert.’

The old gentleman blinked his eyes a couple of times before saying: ‘My grandson’s name is John……I’m Albert….

The Walmart One Day Wonder!

Can you believe I lasted less than a day as a retail store greeter?

A few hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman came into the store with her two children, yelling at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome. Nice children you have there; are they twins?’

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s nine, and the other one’s seven. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, ma’am, I just couldn’t believe someone would make a baby with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

The HR department said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.