I was teetering on a perilous edge staring down at the abyss.
Looking at the scary, yawning depths of a life being boring and becoming bored.
What do you do when your life has become so routine that it has run out of stories?
When one of the grandkids told me he had heard the nostalgia laden story of my childhood escapades a hundred times and could I please tell him a new story, I realised I was turning into something I promised I would never be: boring.
Why do we become a little dull as we grow older? Is it the preoccupation with the mundane? An unwillingness to try something new, something never done before? Or, as in my case, exchanging comfort for adventure? “We try to make every good experience repeatable, and then run away from the resulting boredom”.
At a certain point in our existence life becomes routine and predictable. Responsibilities and demands of adult life often make us prioritise stability over adventure: and as we age, major responsibilities taken care of, we settle into a life which is easy like a cosy comfortable armchair padded with everything familiar and we repose in it loath to get up.
Yet the sameness becomes dull, and the fount of exciting stories dries up. We become indifferent to the unfamiliar, unwilling to explore its many pathways.
Furthermore, modern society offers us a remarkably homogeneous life experience. We are taught that if we want to get on, we must streamline ourselves by chipping away as many of the interesting bits of our character as we can.
So how can we break free from the monotony and rediscover the excitement of life? Recognising the need for change is the first step towards transformation. Embracing this understanding and taking active steps to explore new interests, challenging ourselves and breaking free from routine can lead to a more fulfilling life. Of course a certain amount of routine is desirable and necessary to keep chaos at bay, but building too many patterns of sameness can lead to discontent.
It’s true that there’s no one-size-fits-all roadmap to an exciting life. Each person’s journey is unique, shaped by individual dreams, talents, and experiences. This diversity means that while our paths might not be identical, the pursuit of happiness and personal growth is a common goal. The secret to less boredom and routine is to add a dollop of spontaneity and fun to our life. Too often, we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of measuring ourselves against others. And with Instagram feeds inundated with skinny waistlines, flashy fashions, exotic adventures, who can really blame us?
But just because something is right for someone else doesn’t mean that it’s right for me. Just because the grass looks greener on the other side doesn’t mean that it is.
Even small changes can lead to unexpected discoveries.
So begins a magical journey of self-discovery. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, like a seed sprouting into a plant, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly, life transforms into something more beautiful; each day brings something new and fresh.
Curiosity kills more than the cat. It kills boredom.
Life is about being curious. Curious about who we are, about this wide wonderful world, and about what is deeply and authentically important to us. About what we have always wanted to try but never had the money/time/courage to do and remembering activities we enjoyed as children.
And when we find something that scares us and excites us at the same time, that is what we need to run after and grab with our hands.
Do we need to be more exciting? Controversial? More interesting, less boring? Perhaps we do! “Life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly…but merely to be lived. Boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly, magically lived.” The best times in life are usually random, unplanned, and completely spontaneous.
So, I decided to spice up my life. But first I vowed that there are certain things I shall not do – attach myself to a giant rubber band and jump off a high bridge; carry a bag on my back and jump off a plane; anything that would lead to injury, landing me in bed preventing me from doing all the things on my list.
I decided to focus on the two things I love most- reading and travel. Now I read a lot of history, art and design, food, serial killers, philosophy, psychology, political thrillers, but have always stayed clear of science fiction and fantasy. (I don’t know why since I loved reading Lord of The Rings). Diving into science fiction and fantasy can offer some fascinating and mind-expanding experiences. They are full of fresh paradigm shifting ideas – that take us out of habitual patterns of thought and transplant us in fantastic and unimagined worlds. And what stories one can weave to tell the grandchildren…
Caption: Durga Temple – Varanasi
I travel a lot and often. But even in new places there is a certain kind of sameness. So, to satisfy my wanderlust and desire for new experiences, I plan to take a leaf out of my cousin’s book, who visited sixty temples for his sixtieth birthday. I added to my list, visits to at least thirty temples in maybe a year, and to make it more interesting, and deeply immersive I plan to go to only Devi temples, learn about the unique legends, rituals, and cultural significance associated with each temple. Maybe try and time my visits to coincide with local festivals and special events at the temples to witness the vibrant celebrations.
Another exciting travel adventure is to travel the world picking a theme. For example, for the longest time I have been thinking of traveling to places that make Ikat fabric. I can follow a trail starting in the south of India to Odisha to Laos, Indonesia up to Japan and Uzbekistan. I can take a deep dive into the history of Ikat in each region, understanding its origins, evolution, and cultural significance, connecting with artisans by reaching out to local cooperatives, museums, and individual artisans and participating in workshops or watch demonstrations to see the dyeing and weaving process in action.
Keeping a journal or blog about my experiences, noting the architectural details, spiritual atmosphere, and local stories around the temples will be an enriching experience. Capturing my ikat journey on camera, experiences in a diary and sharing them through social media, blogs, or even a documentary film will fill many an hour with joy and happy memories.
And why not solo travel to a never before place? Travelling alone makes time flow in a different way; one tends to look at experiences through a creative lens. There is something novel that makes us look at life, “with glittering eyes” and think in fresh ways; something that makes us feel completely differently.
While eating another variety of a rare mushroom in the ‘it’ restaurant does not constitute an adventure, I love food, both homely and comfort foods, as well as the exotic. Maybe I can beg a chef friend to let me be a fly on the wall (not the most apt way of describing my presence in this context) in her kitchen. I can squeeze unobtrusively in a corner, out of the way of flying liquids and hot fiery words and watch what really happens in these hallowed spaces. If I am lucky, I may be allowed to do easy non-intrusive tasks like picking a perfectly cut parsley with tweezers and placing it gently on cucumber foam. The stories from such an environment would undoubtedly be fascinating, filled with both the challenges and triumphs of high-pressure cooking culinary creation.
I love animals and have always wanted to work with them (there was a time, when as a child, I would toy with the idea of becoming a vet or work in a zoo). Of course, like many childhood dreams they sank to the bottom of my subconscious, but never truly disappeared. But dreams have a habit of showing up at the most unlikely times with the potential to be fulfilled. Especially when we keep exploring and letting curiosity direct the journey. And thus, I decided to learn to become an animal whisperer, someone who has the ability or has learned to communicate with animals on a deeper level, often understanding their behaviours, emotions, and needs in ways that others might not. Animal whisperers work with a variety of animals, including pets, farm animals, and wildlife, helping to improve their behaviour, health, and well-being. This is a shamanic journey, an ancient art that is supposed to be “insightful, empowering and humbling” and very, very enjoyable.
And what about the small everyday things that I can do to spice up my life?
Well, expand the shores of my interests. With a little introspection and large helpings of courage, I resolved to think outside the box, be unique, “put something silly in the world that ain’t been there before”- write the book, learn that song, discover painting, calligraphy, crochet, making fabric collage, photoshop, French…. learn new things, work with my hands – all of them stress busters and brain boosters. Learning is one thing that really induces the most joy in people.
Image courtesy: Travel & Leisure.com
John Medina discovered that the brain has a very short attention span. Our brains are attracted to intriguing, interesting, engaging people, and things. When we are interested, we are more interesting. Because our cell phones bring everything from around the world to us, we no longer feel the need to leave the house. After a while, staring at a screen becomes boring. So, let’s design a life that we are inspired to live and do things that fly in the face of the “daily tyranny of the dull.” Disrupt our routines, get out of the rut and revitalise our life.
Instead of focusing on ourselves, let’s’ think of ways to make people have more fun around us. Nothing is more contagious than laughter and good humour. So let us break a few rules and laugh at ourselves. Do things that will be enjoyed by a group of friends. Say yes to that trip with friends, to an adventure when it presents itself. We can’t live an exciting life if we keep saying ‘no’.
When we shake up the routine a bit, it makes us see things differently. Why not be a tourist in our town, and discover interesting local hot spots – a local place of worship, a new neighbourhood with little lanes that meander into undiscovered spots, explore those small unpretentious never- eaten- in restaurants? Wonder and wander!
Listen to different genres of music. Even if we don’t always understand, try listening to new and interesting music, the new pop and rock, Taylor Swift, and Coldplay. This has the added advantage of engaging with grandchildren over something they love. We can be ‘cool’ grandparents.
Let’s celebrate our eccentricities, our creative fantasies, do something out of its regular order so we can live our life and forget our age. As Cher said, “We live in a youth-obsessed culture that is constantly trying to tell us that if we are not young, and we’re not glowing, and we’re not hot, that we don’t matter. I refuse to let a system or a culture or a distorted view of reality tell me that I don’t matter. I know that only by owning who and what you are can you start to step into the fullness of life. Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing and rock n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger’.”
To be peaceful, full of joy and not letting the daily irritations of life trouble and unsettle us, we need to develop a spiritual connection with something greater than ourselves. It can be a search for meaning, a higher purpose in life, connection to humanity and nature. Chanting, praying, meditating put us in a state where our body and mind are consciously relaxed and focused. And therefore, create more space within us to fill our lives with the new, the exciting and the little scary. Vipassana scares me. Being in silence for days, without the crutch of books is a daunting prospect and I resolve to try it!
In our bustling, often bewildering world, we find comfort in the light-hearted yet deep wisdom of those who’ve explored life’s mysteries.
“Meditation: Because some answers can only be found on the inner net.”
I love this clever and funny meditation quote. With every encyclopaedia and dictionary just a Google search away, it’s important to remember that the most significant answers can only be found within.
Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted; dare to explore the near and the far and the in between; dare to explore the inner world of the self and outer world of people and places. As Ansel Adams, that great photographer said, “In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration.” Step into the unknown, allow the unexpected to happen, live unhindered by fear and self-imposed limitations, and be fearless in the pursuit of “what sets your soul on fire” Forget the rules, and just do whatever makes you happy. Life is for living, so live it loud and proud. Just be sure you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. As the wise writer Emile Zola said, “If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.”
“Forget your voice, sing!
Forget your feet, dance!
Forget your life, live!
Forget yourself and be!”
