Fafda Files: Envy and Patience

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned. I have been resentful of Santa Claus. Why does he get to ride across the sky on a sleigh?  Why does he get to drink spiked eggnog?  Why does he get to play with all the toys at the North Pole?  Even the elves are complaining that while they slog at ensuring batteries work on the remote controlled toys, Santa plays with the drones. Is my envy misplaced? While I ask for forgiveness (in for a penny, in for a pound) – here is a list of additional things I am envious about:

#9 Elon Musk’s mom in her 70’s with the vigor of an eighteen year old and an above par fashion sense 

#8 People that can eat a pint of ice cream without remorse with a surety that the scales will not tip over the next day

#7 Miss India, Miss World and Miss Universe – for, I cannot snatch their crowns unless they change the winning criteria to acid tongued voluptuous ladies

#6 the Producer who made millions on a movie like Bunty aur Babli 2 

#5 an icon named Kangana Ranaut 

#4 Sadhguru with the gift of the gab

#3 Leena Nair as the choice pick for CEO by the House of Chanel (CoCo, I too have a fashion sense – why not me!!)

#2 The television screen which without any effort garners undivided attention

#1  Virtues because they do not have to  struggle with sins

Amen, and in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit (synonymous with the Grail or the Spirit) let us hop on to the nemesis goody two shoes.

Patience is a virtue that is hard to come by in this age of variants.  Mine is barely hanging on, shredded to its last thread.  Whacked with Covid 19, stomped by the Delta and chased by the Omnicron, I have not only endured suffocating within a mask but have been forced to look at some ghastly creations on faces with fortitude and aplomb. How long will P sidle along beside me?  This question tiptoes on tenterhooks with a beleaguered attitude of ‘this too shall pass’. My body is distraught with not once, not twice but three times to an ominous jabbing of needles, whenever Dr. Fauci deems it is time.    

So, this Christmas, I ask Patience, the mother of all virtues, are you at your wits end, envy mounting on all fronts for days bygone when you only dealt with greedy super powers taking it all and you advising the turning of the other cheek?  Are you ready  to forsake virtue, walk the sinful path and beg forgiveness at the altar on a chosen Sunday? 

Whatever the answer, whether patience succumbs or envy conquers, this Holiday season, I suggest we go easy on ourselves. I, for one, will be sitting by the fireplace, a drink in hand, occasionally peeking at the gifts under the tree and randomly calling strangers in the middle of the night with a Ho Ho Ho. Why don’t you try it?  There is nothing like getting cursed by the virtuous ones and absolving yourself of a sin.   

Merry Christmas one and all!