Thursday, April 25, 2024

Seniors Do Want Sex!

You don’t have to be a millennial to have awesome sex! get some valuable tips from Vinita Alvares Fernandes

We all know that the frequency of sex declines with age

Do you know that 40% of older adults in the age group 65-80 are sexually active?

Do you know that this forty percent rose to 54% among those in romantic relationships?

Do you know that a large number of older adults think a lot about sex and want it?

Do you know that the human touch rules over sex toys?

Do you know that masturbation is the answer for many as older adults are less social and unable to find partners?


The decline in the frequency of the sexual act could be for a number of reasons that arise with age. Few older adults are comfortable discussing sex issues with their doctor nor do doctors ever ask. Erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, incontinence, along with heart disease, diabetes, obesity, stress incontinence or even substance abuse are factors that slow down the sexual drive but its important to know with the advancement of science and medicine there are innumerable treatments available.


So what’s stopping you from enjoying sex?

Is it the partner gap?

If you have a substantial age gap with your partner at this point of your life you will definitely need to communicate the sexual issues you are facing with each other and maybe with your doctor together. Surfing the net together may also bring closeness in the relationship. The key is to do this together.


Is it the jumpstart you need to take to rekindle your sex life?

At this stage of life, most people are very set in their ways and thinking while a new relationship does add spice to life it does come with its challenges too. Frequent sexual activity lessens the strain on the relationship especially if there has been a long break or stagnation. The benefits of rekindling your sex life is a no brainer, I say, don’t think too much, just jump into it and things will play out along the way.


Is it problems with desire?

The emotional and physical state of your life has taken many a beating along the way. Life changes, retirement, fears about the future or your body image are huge factors. By this time you may be exhausted with no desire for a roll in the hay. A fulfilling sex life needs constant conversation with your partner, exploring what works at this stage is a good idea. What felt good on some parts of your younger body may not feel so good as your body ages. Likewise, there may be some things you enjoy now that you didn’t like in the past.


Ask yourself and your partner:

Do I still enjoy the same things in bed or is it time to try something new?

That sexy nightgown that was once a turn-on does not matter now. Instead, that more “superficial” turn-on may now be replaced with something much deeper but no less sexual.

Accepting that sex will be different now instead of focusing on what it felt like in the past is a giant leap. A lot of older adults have expressed that sex is not good but much better as that intimacy has been nourished and developed for a long time, if in a new relationship, letting it out loud seems a cake walk as we no longer have the inhibitions which held us back in our youth.

So just fake it till you make it, as getting started is usually the most difficult step. Don’t wait for the desire to show up.

A word:

-Sex is considered an important measure of the quality of life.

-The lower rate of sexual activity in older women may not be due to lack of interest or changes that make sex uncomfortable but rather a perceived lack of opportunity.

-Older adults have the advantage that they are more self-aware (they know their body and what excites them) and more self-confident—attributes that not only improve desire but can spark a partner’s desire as well.

-With children gone and fewer daily demands on time, there is often more time and privacy to explore and be creative.

-Orgasm releases oxytocin in men and women, a hormone that not only aids in sleep but also brings a calm to the body. De-stressing you constantly for free.

-Good sex begins with good communication. If your partner doesn’t seem to be interested in sex, talk about it. Nobody can read minds.

-Just as you may need to “just do it” when it comes to the physical act of sex, you may need to “just do it” when it comes to expressing intimacy in non-sexual ways. Candles, fine wine, and music aren’t just for the younger crowd.

-Don’t assume, in reality he or she has great interest but is afraid of “performing” well enough to please you. Be a good teacher.

-Safe sex practices are important. You no longer need to fear an unplanned pregnancy but sexually transmitted diseases can affect anyone of any age.

Rekindle, Renew intimacy, Communicate.

It may feel forced at first, just give it some time.

You don’t have to be a millennial to have awesome sex!

Vinita Alvares Fernandes
Vinita Alvares Fernandes is an Economics graduate, a writer and a Trinity College certified public speaker and communicator

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