When it comes to getting cosy, age is definitely not a hindrance, writes Senor Dey
Indian mythology and history are full of gods, kings having multiple wives starting from Raja Dasharath. Much before the world woke up to the joy of sex, India had rishi Vātsyāyana who wrote the Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Sanskrit text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment. Historians have placed it between 400 BCE and 300 CE.
There is also the Khajuraho group of temples in the central part of India. They were built together between 950 and 1050 CE but dedicated to two religions, Hinduism and Jainism, suggesting a tradition of acceptance and respect for diverse religious views among Hindus and Jains in the region. No other proof is required of India’s superior intellect and thinking.
Surprisingly, there is much stigma attached to older people enjoying a healthy sex life. The word boodha, tharki (lecherous), almost makes sexual desire out to be something wrong. There are enough surveys that say contradictory things about sex in the senior community.
Most medical surveys suggest that sex is important for our well being. Having sex releases chemicals in your brain and body that improves your well being, protects your health, and keeps you happy. It also puts a spring in your walk. Above all, sex is not just an activity for younger people. Sex may be a challenge over the age of sixty. The obvious causes being menopause, erectile dysfunction, medical issues, and other hormonal changes. Unless there are medical issues, all the other hurdles are surmountable, and all one needs is the desire.
The first requirement for sex is affection. Every couple has their own process/ways/methods of being affectionate with each other. Naughty jokes, caresses and flirtation can make each other feel special. The good news is that couples who show affection are more likely to have a romp in the hay.
A sexual response may take longer, and your body may not be exactly following your brain’s desires (the mind is willing, but the flesh is not). With the help of a therapist, one can use creams, tablets that can help the physical process. It is an unspoken notion that Indian women lose interest in sex after the age of 50, whereas this is not the case with Indian men. Affection and patience go a long way in getting things going with a focus on closeness, tenderness, and contact. Sex can do wonders for your physical and mental well-being — think of it as essential for good health, and the rest follows. Women suffer a loss of libido due to ageing and hormonal changes such as lack of estrogen. However, dietary changes and variation in your exercise regimen can help as well as herbal medical assistance.
Prioritise her pleasure
Men don’t care so much about their orgasms because they are pretty much inevitable. However, a fair amount of women say that they don’t usually climax during sex. Hence it needs to be said that “getting her off” becomes just as important for male sexual satisfaction as it does for women. Cheesy as it sounds, creating an appropriate ambience with fragrance, flowers, music and lights can turn each other on and set the mood. Don’t restrain yourself from getting naughty. The internet is a vast and varied library of all things sexual, and Google can provide many answers to any sex questions.
With advances in health and science, the quality of life has improved. This generation of sixty plus is living a healthier and longer life. So why is it unfathomable to think that you can’t also enjoy sex as well as other sporting activities such as hiking, trekking, golf, walking, including regular exercise and a good diet?
Get on with it
Indians are embarrassed by their sexuality; this can be due to a popular cultural notion of who should be having sex. Television and movies do little to promote a healthy sex life in older people; in fact, popular media often denigrates senior sex. Coupled with the fact that the lack of freedom and other family pressures do not allow seniors to enjoy sex despite being healthy and active. By and large Indian men after sixty are still adventurous in finding sex partners other than their wives (no wonder flights to Bangkok are always sold out).
As the years pass by, many couples feel that the key to a good relationship is affection. Being affectionate can be as much fulfilling as the naked act. Even if it doesn’t get you all the way and you don’t get instant returns, it will certainly reduce the stress of the day and put you in a good mood with each other, and that is good for both in the long run.