Body Language Clues Say What They’re Really Thinking
When you look at someone, have you ever wondered what he/she is really thinking?
You can be hours deep in conversation and still be unsure of what is on their mind. Noticing their body language can tell you so much more than words. It gives us insight into what the person may be feeling in that situation.
You may not be aware of this but when you interact with others, you’re continuously giving and receiving wordless signals. Communication is so much more than words. Nonverbal cues like your tone of voice, gestures and posture, all say a lot.
What is body language?
Body Language is a science known as Kinesis, which enables the body to make voluntary and involuntary movements.
While we do not have control over involuntary movements, like blinking or twitching, voluntary movements, positive or negative, can be completely controlled by us.
Positive body language gives you an edge over your competitor and corporates hire people with soft skills in a jiffy, making it a must have.
Body language refers to the nonverbal signals that we use to communicate. These nonverbal cues make up a huge part of communication, the unspoken part of communication that we use to reveal our true feelings, it is often instinctive and unconscious which gives our message more impact. Being able to read someone’s body language can help us understand others and ourselves better.
Read body language —
Body language provides an amazing amount of information on what other people are thinking if you know what to look for. Being aware of body language allows you to pick up on unspoken emotions and reactions. It’s a valuable form of feedback and can be easily missed if you’re not aware of what to look for.
Here are some of the most important nonverbal clues – some with negative and some with positive interpretations
- Feet pointed sideways
If you’re engaged in conversation with someone whose feet are not pointing towards you, you are boring them and they want to run away. They may be looking at you, smiling and nodding, but their feet are turned towards the left or right which means they want to leave but are being polite and not telling you.
- If someone is mirroring your actions
If you’re in conversation with someone who is mirroring your gestures it means they’re trying to make you feel comfortable and at ease. This often happens in professional situations between a boss and their subordinate. For example if you cross your legs, they will cross their legs a few minutes later or if you sit back, they may sit back.
- Touching their nose
If the person you’re talking to touches or rubs their nose, they may be fibbing or exaggerating. Constantly touching your nose often indicates disbelief or rejection. Look out for any nose touching in your next conversation.
- Exaggerated nodding
If a person keeps nodding their head it signals anxiety about approval. When you’re telling someone something and they nod excessively, it often means that they are worried about what you think of them or that you doubt their abilities.
- Locking ankles
If the individual sitting across from you locks their ankles they may be nervous.
- Raised eyebrows
Raised eyebrows often signals discomfort. There are three main emotions that make your eyebrows go up: surprise, worry, and fear. You will never raise your eyebrows during a relaxed conversation with a friend. If somebody who is talking to you raises their eyebrows it will often mean surprise, worry, fear or there is definitely something else going on.
- Crossed arms and legs
Crossed arms and legs mean resistance. It is a physical barrier and means that you are not open to what the other person is saying. Sitting or standing with your arms crossed across your chest is always seen as defensive body language. You may appear angry, disengaged or stubborn.
- Real smiles crinkle the eyes
Smiles can mean different things, depending on the exact facial expression. There are happy smiles, shy smiles, warm smiles, and ironic smiles. When someone is genuinely smiling as you, the skin around their eyes crinkle. That’s a dead give away to a smile being genuine or not. If their eyes don’t crinkle, they’re hiding something. When you display an authentic smile, you let people know you’re approachable and friendly.
- Looking down
Looking at the floor makes you appear weak and diffident. When you break eye contact with someone, as you should every few seconds, try looking to the side instead of the floor.
- A fast handshake
Some people have firm handshakes and others don’t. If someone offers you a quick handshake that person may have already decided they don’t like you or aren’t interested in getting to know you further. Don’t take it personally. You can’t be best friends with everyone.
- Tapping your fingers
When you tap your fingers, you appear impatient and nervous.
- Posture
Maintaining good posture commands respect and promotes engagement, whether you’re a leader or not. A banana back or slouch often makes you come across as less confident and not in charge.
- Standing up straight
Standing erect with good posture shows you feel confident.
- Microexpressions
Microexpressions are brief facial expressions that happen in about 1/25th of a second. They happen when you’re trying to hold back your emotions. If you learn to spot them, you can really tell what a person is thinking in any type of interaction.
Conclusion —
The bottom line is that even if you can’t read a person’s exact thoughts, you can learn a lot from their body language, and that’s especially true when words and body language don’t match. The next time you’re in a conversation with someone, pay close attention to their body language. They could be telling you something.
NOTES TO SELF —
It’s our body language that speaks the loudest.
The words we use when speaking make up our verbal communication tools. The non-verbal cues make up a person’s body language. These non verbal cues often communicate more than the words. Facial expressions, hand gestures, physical behaviour and tone of voice.
If you know how to understand and interpret these non verbal cues you can truly understand another on a deeper, instinctive and unconscious level. All of our nonverbal behaviours send strong messages. They can put people at ease or make them uneasy, help you build trust and draw others towards you or they make you come across as dishonest. You can offend, confuse and undermine what you’re trying to say with inappropriate body language.
Non verbal messages don’t stop if you aren’t speaking. Even when you’re silent, you’re still communicating nonverbally. When faced with a situation of mixed signals, the listener has to choose what to believe- your verbal or nonverbal message. Since body language is a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts your true feelings and intentions, they’ll likely choose the nonverbal message.
