Thursday, September 28, 2023

Habits of Unhappy People

It’s a repetitive cycle; break free of unhappy habits to attain more peace, writes Vinita Alvares Fernandes

Many of us have read the biblical story of Jesus turning water into wine at a wedding, instead of restoring the same wine, he made new wine, the same applies to life, when we go through turbulent times, we come out of it differently, either a better person or an unhappy disgruntled person. There are always seasons when you feel you have nothing more to give, no more creativity, no more resources, no more options, but you need to experience all of this so you can see your next best, your better part of life.

Choosing to be happy in every situation really does put you ‘on top of the world’ motivates you to perform better, people like being around you, and you enjoy this existance on earth called life. However, there are some people who are perpetually down and out. These disgruntled people are so unhappy. They seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and this shows in every aspect of their life- their mood, their attitudes towards themselves and others and even their outlook on life.

Unhappy people tend to have several qualities in common. Most of these qualities are bad habits that they have developed over the years and they just don’t seem to be able to break them.

These are some of the qualities unhappy people tend to exhibit —

  1. Constantly complaining-

It’s normal to complain and vent every once in a while. Every pressure cooker needs to blow off steam now and then. But unhappy people seem to complain all the time. They see the negative in every situation, every conversation revolves around the bad and ugly. They love to complain and dwell on the negative instead of letting go of it.

 Caring about people’s opinions and seeking permission from others-

Caring about other people’s opinions can suck the happiness out of your life. Every aspect of your life does not need to please the people around you. There may be situations where people’s opinions do matter and they can make a difference, but mind you, it shouldn’t be an every situation occurrence. Unhappy people tend to look for validation and permission from other people. This is because they are unhappy within themselves. As long as you are happy, you can sleep at night with a clear conscience, nothing else should matter. It’s your life, and only you should decide what you do and what you don’t.

  1. Micromanaging-

If you want something done right, do it yourself? This has got to be one of the most unhealthy thoughts, especially for (unhappy) people who tend to micromanage every situation. Learning to delegate and trusting that other people are also capable of doing things is a freeing feeling. Constantly micromanaging and nitpicking everything around you will just lead to unhappiness all around.

 Being a worry wart-

Unhappy people are constantly worried, especially about things they have no control over. Sometimes in life, it’s important to just let go, especially when something does not involve you.

  1. Putting other people down to uplift yourself-

Listen up unhappy people, you do not need to put other people down, spread vicious lies and negativity to feel better about yourself. There’s a place for everyone at the success table.

  1. Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side-

Unhappy people are often jealous. They are never satisfied with what they have and nothing pleases them. When they hear of someone else succeeding they try to belittle it instead of commending it. Break this habit and do not be jealous of someone else’s success, be happy for them and you will be successful too.

Overreacting to minor problems and ignoring big problems-

Unhappy people focus on every little negative that happens in their lives. They let this temporary annoyance affect them. While they make small problems into big ones, sometimes the really big problems are ignored. Taking responsibility and finding a solution to a real problem is never an option for unhappy people.

 Spending time with other negative people-

The people that you surround yourself with play an important role in who you are. They can influence you in ways you may not even realise. If an unhappy person spends time with another unhappy person, there’s just negativity all around which will diminish your ability to experience happiness.

 Seeing the negative in every situation-

Most unhappy people are pessimists. They are glass half empty people. They always find a way to focus on the negative and what could go wrong in a situation. The worst is always expected. Optimism is a word that does not exist in their dictionaries.

Holding on to grudges, resentment and picking fights-

Unhappy people have a hard time forgiving. They hold onto grudges and resentment for a long time. They have trouble trusting people and often pick fights for no reason.

Always feeling like the victim-

Unhappy people constantly feel victimised, whether it’s about them or not. They constantly feel like other people are out to get them which leads to trust issues.

They view themselves negatively-

Apart from viewing everyone and everything negatively, unhappy people view themselves through the same negative lens. How unfortunate is that!

 They tend to overcomplicate life-

When you take life too seriously, you can drive yourself insane… exactly what unhappy people do. Life is as simple and uncomplicated as you make it out to be. There is so much you can do to simplify your life. Keep life simple!

They’re never thankful for anything-

Unhappy people are ungrateful. Instead of counting their blessings, they focus on everything bad or everything they don’t have in life. No gratitude.

If you feel like you know anyone who has these habits or if you are guilty of any of them, here’s some good news-

it is possible to break these habits if you want to and if you try.  It may not be easy, but it isn’t impossible.

 “The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness” – D. Davidoff

Vinita Alvares Fernandes
Vinita Alvares Fernandes is an Economics graduate, a writer and a Trinity College certified public speaker and communicator

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