The ‘big O’ and ageing

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A few important must knows —

• Studies now confirm that you can enjoy sex for as long as you wish, no matter your age or gender.
• Sex at 50 or 60 may not be like it is at 20 or 30, but it certainly is not only for the young. It’s not just about promoting intimacy and closeness but it’s also a lot of fun even without intercourse.
• Sex can also be a powerful tool for protecting and improving health. Orgasms can help to alleviate pain through the release of pain-relieving oxytocin and endorphins that can increase pain tolerance by over 74 per cent (Beverly Ripple, Rudgers University)

Lets begin with women —

What do women look for in the bedroom (or other places) to orgasm as they age?

It is known that the sexual desire in many women increase in their forties, fifties, sixties, maybe even more. Many, are late bloomers who have come into their own in the bedroom and know what they enjoy. More importantly they have the confidence to speak about it.

The calmness it brings to their overall being, helps to cope with mood swings that menopause tags along and even gets your sleep patterns in order. Its important to know the physical changes that do happen to a woman’s body as they age, the clitoris shrinks leading to less swelling of the erectile tissue, hence less sensitivity and slower nerve reactions. This leads to less intense or shorter orgasms and will need more pressure on the clitoris for stimulation.

What women like —

Due to menopause, vaginal dryness is a thing, sometimes a very big thing that can cause a lot of pain during penetration, This can be sorted with a generous portion of foreplay- fun and varied, let your imagination run wild – get in the toys, and cuddle a lot.

Sex-talk is great foreplay, which goes on through the day for an end result of a happy ending. Don’t shy away from using lubricants, either the clinical ones available at any chemist or better still from your kitchen counter – honey, jams, fruit puree, let the taste buds speak, his and yours.

There is no better way to multiple orgasms than oral sex. The truth is that this is the main interest for women and creates repeated desire for bedtime to appear sooner rather than later each day.

A large helping of cuddling and body warmth with happy conversations of what you would like to be included the next time should follow for a grand finale.

Say no to – Abrupt endings, dosing off immediately or home, work, or children’s problems conversations.

With Medications, hormones and lubrication you can give your woman a rewarding sex life, no matter your age.

From a man’s point of view —

A lot depends on whether a man is still fit and healthy both mentally and physically. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and less firm erections do become more common with age, however, it may not be age itself that’s the reason, this combined with health problems and medication does affect the man’s ego and is a deterrent for sex.

Older men do take longer to become aroused.

They are easy to please and don’t care much about their orgasms, cause its inevitable.

The number one on their list is oral sex, its something they never tire of, the more repeats, the longer duration, and new positions instantly uplifts their mood, reduces the stress of the day, sets a calm in for a good nights rest. This is the right time to ask them for anything you need.

Though not the best communicators, the sound effects do speak volumes. Not a bad idea to ask for fetishes, any new positions or unfulfilled fantasies.

Never forget to compliment the love making, it will guarantee a better next time.

All in all —

• You can expect the big O to get better with age as both men and women are more in tune with their bodies.
• Sexual Confidence comes with maturity; this leads to better communication, better connection, more enjoyment and pleasure from the sexual experience.
• Inter personal relationships are more needed than the act.
• Intimacy does not fall from the sky, it’s the small acts of affection throughout the day that turn into the need for sex.
• Its nice to go on a date to discuss likes and dislikes not only in bed, but also for an overall happier relationship.
• Attention men- Two-minute foreplay is taboo, a woman takes at least twenty minutes to get warmed up, cuddle, touch, love talk, and then head for down under. This provides enough time for the female sexual response cycle to kick in and arousal to build.
• Attention women- If erection is taking time to firm up, reroute, regroup, there is no need to stop entirely, go back and restart.
• It’s so easy to fall into the predictable trap. Insert new triggers.
• Cultural, religious beliefs can be a problem, address them.
• Be in the present, don’t compare past experiences.
• Have a healthy attitude towards sex, be a good guide, get your own pleasure.
• Stopping sex totally or even very long breaks can have consequences on your health and well-being leading to low immunity, prostrate cancer, vaginal damage, heart issues and even memory loss.

Know what to expect and go with each others’ flow.