Growing up I would often play scrabble with my late grandmother, a lady who was married off just after her metric exams (10th grade) to a man twenty years her senior. At thirty she was widowed, duped of all her husbands inheritance and began working to support her two daughters. She lived through several recessions, taught herself the ‘Queens English’ and bettered her life through hard work and resilience. She was an unapologetic opponent of the official scrabble dictionary and would insist our words would adhere strictly to the ‘Queens English’ dictionary. During our games, especially if I was lagging behind, I would often interrupt her trend of thought and ask her questions of her life.
Grandma Tressy, how is your skin so soft?
Coconut oil! Would be the prompt reply. After my bath, I apply pure coconut oil, which I get from the coffee estate in Mudigere, Mangalore. You can use it on your face too, no other beauty product is necessary.
Today we do have a plethora of products, brands and are actually spoiled for choice, but if you look at what is trending, “cold pressed coconut oil” is on the list. Yes by all means be kind to your skin, it is the largest organ of your body, you need to treat it with care as it protects every other organ and part of your body.
- A daily cleansing routine of your face and neck, the part of your body that is exposed 24x7x365 —use a gentle face wash, toner, moisturizer especially at bedtime so your skin is clean, breathes, and rejuvenates through the night.
- When in the sun, protect yourself from UV rays by using a sunblock or sunscreen and wear protective clothes of natural fabric.
- Bathe with tepid water, tap your body dry and use a body lotion or good old coconut oil.
- Drink a lot of water.
- Get skin cancer screenings.
While first impressions are and will always be based on what is ‘visual’ to the eye, reading through beauty magazines for tips to stay youthful looking, especially your face, does reign as number one on the list.
Grandma Tressy, how do you sit crossed legged on the floor for hours?
My child, do you know, that when I was young, we always sat on the floor, at school, to eat, when playing games, we never sat on chairs and even our toilet was made where we sat on our haunches. This English style toilet did not exist. Till today, I can sit comfortably on the floor for hours and stand up without using any support. If you can do this, you know that your body is healthy. When you start needing support to stand up, it means you have some disorder in your body. Be your own doctor and do this test everyday.
Ageing gracefully isn’t only about trying to look young as ever. It is about living your best life, a package of: youthful looks, physical and mental health.
Regular exercise recommended for older adults is five hours a week of aerobic exercise, walking being the best and to keep your muscles toned a bit of strength training through yoga or weight training 3-4times a week is sufficient.
Set boundaries of what is achievable and sustainable.
Grandma Tressy, you eat more than me, your plate is filled with rice but you never complain of a stomachache, or become fat?
My child, I eat my three full meals, in between is just a cup of black tea. Always drain the water from the rice, it is starch and too much of starch is not good for your body. If you drain the starch, you can eat as much rice, make sure it is the red rice, it is fiber for your body, you will never be constipated and your stomach will not bloat. Remember never put salt when cooking rice.
Eat fish for lunch and meat for dinner and lots of vegetables with your meal.
Cook the fish and meat with spices and coconut and the vegetables should be half cooked with ghee and no masalas.
End your meal with a piece of gur under your tongue.
A few more tips:
- No water half an hour before or after meals, preferably at room temperature.
- Use ‘akka namak’ instead of refined salt.
- One fruit a day is plenty.
- Brush your teeth and clean your tongue after each meal, your teeth and gums will stay healthy forever.
If you eat like this, you will never have a weight issue or any health issue.
Mind you grandma Tressy lived to 92, with never an illness, she bathed herself till her last day, sipped her afternoon tea, coughed and passed away gracefully on her bed. Simple eating habits with no quantity restriction and no diets. Just balance.
Grandma Tressy, you were a young widow, with two daughters to bring up, how did you stay mentally strong through it all?
Life was not easy at all for me, I could have been a rich planters wife, instead I was a widow and all was taken from me and I was sent back to my mothers home, but I learnt quickly to be content with whatever I have, work hard to have my own home and I kept myself happy with my faith in God, my few trust worthy friends and at work I was very sharp, hard working and honest. Your thoughts must always be clean. I never knew the word depression, as I was so busy making a life, living it and enjoying whatever I had. That is called contentment.
So—
- Accept your age and stage of life. DO NOT REMINANCE IN THE PAST.
- Spend time with friends and loved ones, ‘man was not made to be an island.’
- Do things you enjoy, your hobbies, and talents. Its better to join a group and fix a day of the week for each activity, this way you don’t have to keep looking out for company.
- Keep away from whatever brings you stress, and when times do get stressful, turn to proven ways to relieve, reduce stress — meditation, deep breathing, talking to a friend or even counselor.
- Enjoy your alone time with reading, games like solitaire, colouring, T.V shows and music.
- Sleep well, as you age, sleep deprivation does come into play. Make sure you get your eight hours of sleep.
- Quit smoking; decrease alcohol consumption and refined sugar intake to keep aging at bay.
- Doctors visits can be comforting and an outing. Regular check-ups are good for you.
The takeaway —
In honour of grandma Tressy, I’ve dusted off ol’ Oxford, which defined worry
“as a ‘state of unhappiness’, caused by thinking about unpleasant things that may happen about you.”
What should you be if not worried?
In a word: proactive— a quality you’re already demonstrating by posing this question. It’s easy to get complacent when we have a job, especially one that’s going reasonably well. But with retirement and aging gracefully comes a state of mind —
That accepts wrinkles.
That surrounds you with people you love.
That makes you do things that bring you joy.
Like a bottle of wine, you can get better with age, with the right care and what not to do on your quest to age happily, and yes Gracefully.
